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fandomfluffandfuck · 1 year ago

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hello mr s, i come into your humble inbox filled with horny thoughts 🥴 imagine with me: what tells do you think (pre/post-serum) steve n bucky might have when they're close to orgasm?

(just some bonus thoughts to ponder) who would be more vocal between the two of them? chanting the other's name, or quietly gasping and groaning? do they lose control of their limbs or are they fucking solely on instinct? who is likelier to grab the other's face, desperately wanting to devour their mouth, and be devoured in turn as they careen towards their climax? 😩

whew! as always, thanks for aiding and abetting all these horny anons parading around your blog, i appreciate each and every one of y'all 💖

Hey, sweets!

I feel like you'll enjoy this ask that similarly talks about the different canon Steve's, but instead of tells for orgasm it's about lingerie!

I'm gonna twist this prompt a little bit and talk specifically about how they react at the moment of orgasm because... 😏 why not?

1. Pre-serum & pre-war Steve:

When I was considering what to write for this ask--it's a lot of detail because of the different versions I see of Steve and Bucky and how I think they grow and evolve--I immediately had this thought:

I bet pre-serum Steve holds his breath when he cums.

I have no idea why I think that. But. Brain just said so, so it must be so. That's why they call it a head canon.

Pre-serum Steve has heart trouble, and his body doesn't always want to stay with the program (re: he doesn't always stay hard), so Bucky and him have perfected the art of keeping his heart rate between high enough to keep his erection but not too high to trigger his arrhythmia. Additionally, Bucky and Steve have had plenty of practice stabilizing Steve's breathing to make sure that he doesn't have an asthma attack during sex. And somewhere along the lines of that...

Steve's evolved this response of lying limp and not breathing, going silent as he cums.

Bucky thinks it's hot as fuck.

Steve will be digging his nails into him--his artist hands are stronger and bonier than they have any right to be--groaning softly, tension all over in his body, trying not to make too much noise even though it feels so good, and then he'll tip over the edge--

And he'll have this moment.

His dark eyes roll back into his head, eyelashes fluttering, and his mouth falls open, but no sound comes out of him. He's entirely quiet. His chest doesn't stutter or heave. He's simply... suspended in the pleasure.

Frozen in the moment. Except, at the same time that he's frozen, he's consumed by flames.

Hot.

When Steve comes out of it, falling from his peak, his lungs rasp, desperate, like he might have an asthma attack right then, but he never does; Steve never says it hurts or feels bad. He shivers sometimes, gasping. Instead, he says it leaves him feeling spacy and good, just a little dizzy. It's good. Really good.

1. Pre-serum & prewar Bucky

Steve is the quiet one between the two of them. He's also the one who has more control over himself. So, while Steve goes silent and lies limp, reveling in the pleasure, just trying to take in the pleasure as it fries his nerves, Bucky is the one that more often than not needs a hand slapped over his mouth--his own or Steve's.

Bucky has a special weakness for Steve's hand over his mouth, or Steve's fingers in his mouth gagging him, giving him something to suck on. It's a double-edged sword, though. Muffled as he might be, if it's Steve's fingers in his mouth, he's absolutely going cross-eyed and moaning louder than he would've anyway. Little shit.

Still, Bucky just can't help but moan and groan and swear as he cums. He also tends to shake. Vibrate. It just feels really good. There's something about pleasure and Steve that brings the really, really raw edge out of Bucky.

Bucky's been with dames, when he cums with a dame, because of a dame, its different. It's still fucking good. It can be fucking great. But, no matter what he does with Steve it's always fucking great. When he's with a dame at least when he moans in her ear as he cums, she doesn't mind it and he's not totally afraid to be caught. Sure, nobody wouldn't sneer at them, they ain't married, but... it's not illegal.

Bucky moans in Steve's ear and Steve's thin chest heaves with desire, but Steve also shushes him, drawing his fingers through Bucky's hair where it hangs over his forehead, his sweat wearing out his pomade and curling the damp strands. He can't do that. Shut up.

So, instead of moaning into Steve's ear, because he can't be trusted to control his volume, Bucky moans into the hot skin of his palm. Hand over mouth.

Steve's flattered that he can't control it, that his jaw drops open and stays there. Lungs heaving. Throat contracting around those pretty sounds. Steve likes it. He desperately wants to hear more of it. He regularly has... particularly stimulating fantasies about taking Bucky away, somewhere else--the woods, great plains, or anywhere remote--and doing everything he can to be able to hear those moans loud and fucking clear. Sometimes, he wonders, his sadistic side peaking through, what he could do to get Bucky to scream.

2. WWii & freshly post-serum Steve

Throw everything out the window that you think you know about how Steve cums from the above drabble 👀

It all changes when Steve gets the serum. Suddenly, no matter what he does, he can't seem to get his body to get rid of his erection. He can't get his heart to stop racing. Booming in his suddenly large chest. But it never comes with any pain or dizziness. It's just... doing what it's supposed to?

And those two symptoms, a constant fucking boner and a pounding heart, are not even to mention how overwhelming everything feels now.

It's a riot under his skin whenever he gets aroused. Which. Is often.

He feels like he's become Bucky. He can't cum without biting his fist so hard that he tastes blood or stuffing fucking... any clothing item into his mouth to muffle himself. Why does he suddenly have to be so loud when he's in the worst fucking place to be loud? 😫 He's surrounded all the time. First, the USO girls, then soldiers, and, God, he can't catch a break.

He can't help the sounds. Whimpers and whines and moans. His voice goes all high and thin. He can't. It feels like he's on the edge of sobs right before he cums, then when he does cum, if he doesn't sob outright, he ends up squeezing his eyes so tight that they spill over anyway. And his orgasm always feels like it lasts and lasts and lasts--

The peak of his orgasm stretching out into this, this minute? This hour? This agonizing length of time that means he makes a huge fucking mess with cum. The serum made everything bigger, including his cock and balls, but it also made the volume of semen inside his larger balls increase. Steve's ashamed. It's so much.

It's so much.

He feels so much.

He moans, he cries, he cums and cums, and he breaks fucking everything. He rips his sheets, fisting them, going through them like paper; he breaks his cot, grabbing it too hard; he bends his dogtags, aching for something, anything to hold onto and scrambling, finding his tags and squeezing.

If he cums with a forcefully muffled sound and not the sound of something being ripped or snapping it's a fucking miracle.

He doesn't go limp anymore. He squeezes. Tension all through his body. Even in his feet, which curl until his soles cramp. Every orgasm feels like it's ripped up from the base of his soul. He's so easy to make cum and yet... every orgasm is devastating.

2. WWii Bucky

Bucky during the war is much the same as he was before the war except... infected with Steve's desperate, fucking urgent desires and polluted with his own brand of life-or-death urgency after being brought back from across enemy lines. So, now, he's just more reckless and desperate. His sounds get more guttural. Deeper. Drastic. He shakes harder and clings harder, too.

Silver lining, though, those louder, more deep, desperate sounds are pretty easy to muffle these days; all Bucky has to do is bury his face into Steve's tits. It's all he wants to do anyway. Motorboat Steve. Jesus Christ. He could suffocate between his fucking knockers. And when he's there, he's not as loud.

Perfect.

Although, however strong the urge to faceplant into Steve's pecs is, more often then not, after being separated and threatened with death, they now end up cumming face to face. Mouths open and panting together, sharing the same hot, humid air. Trying their damn best to choke back their sounds and... not being very successful. Bucky's gutted, rasping groans and moans. Steve's high-pitched, overwhelmed whimpers and gasps and moans. They're so fucking lucky the Howlies put up with their shit.

But, face to face as they are--grasping urgently at each other, distance having only made them more firmly attached to each other--just means Bucky gets a close-up on seeing how Steve's orgasm face has changed...

It hasn't.

Not really.

His eyes still roll back into his head, and his mouth hangs open, red, as his entire face flushes. It's all just turned up to eleven. It's just more desperate and needy and, God, is it pretty.

He's so pretty. He always was. (Not that Bucky would've said it back then.) A walkin' angel, but now he's here, and he's really Bucky's angel, saving his life and bringing him to his knees. Bucky is devoted to him, moreso than any holy diety. So, Steve can't get rid of Bucky. All Bucky can do is hang off of them whenever they're in private. Desperate to feel him.

3. Modern Steve before Bucky returns

The first few orgasms Steve has before Bucky returns are lined thickly with guilt and sadness and pain especially. Emotional pain mostly. He doesn't really... want to.

He needs to, but he doesn't want to. He takes to referring, internally, to these physical needs as "maintenance" orgasms. Maintenance because apparently, freezing a fella for seventy fucking years backs him up--his balls are swollen and achy and for the first year-ish he cums so much that he can't masturbate anywhere but in the shower.

It's even more embarrassing without a partner to go dark-eyed over it, biting his lip hard in an effort not to swear seven ways to Sunday, and get him through it until he's got nothing left to give because he's simply curious to see how much he has in the tank. How far can he push him?

Yeah. It's different without someone else there.

Just. He doesn't think...

It wasn't--

It wasn't this much when he came after he got the serum a lifetime ago. So, he doesn't really get why now, after his time in the Arctic, he's got even more cum but... he does.

And it's so much.

It's, like, a comical amount. Enough to drown himself.

It eases off, eventually, but Steve is still pretty sure it's even more cum now than it used to be. Passively, he wonders why, but he's not about to tell anyone (or, God forbid, ask a doctor about) how his jizz fluctuated upon waking up.

3. [I'm not going to talk about Bucky during HYDRA or when he's breaking his brainwashing for this]

4. Modern Steve after Bucky returns

When Bucky is back to himself, he's absolutely back to his old games...

He fucking loves what the serum did to Steve. He seems downright obsessed with making him get as many erections as possible and takes almost sick pleasure in getting him off every time he gets it up. Even after they're both sore and raw and exhausted.

Bucky fucking cheers, like a goddamn dork, the first time he gets Steve to cum so much that he cums dry.

Nothing left to give.

And when Steve cums dry, it's like he's hard reset--rather than moaning high and feminine and jesusfuckingchrist making these sounds that're so whiny and fuck-me that it's not even fair, as he shakes and clenches and breaks shit, he just breaks.

He falls entirely limp. Mouth open wide, gaped, drool shiny on his candy red lips and chin. He can't seem to make a sound. While Bucky's been at this, Steve's voice has gone in waves, getting hoarse, then the serum will knit him back together, good as new, then he'll moan himself raw again, and--

He can't make a sound, though.

He cums dry, and he cums silently, lying in a puddle of his own sweat, boneless. Surrendering to the current of overwhelming, forest-fire level pleasure.

It throws Bucky all the way back to the 30s/40s Brooklyn.

That's exactly what his lil Stevie looked like cumming. Strings cut. Desperately holding it all in, needing to maintain secrecy, their own little world. Pink head to toe. Blushing all the way to his ears and down his chest. Swollen lips. Hard, pointed nipples. Drooling, twitching cock.

God.

It makes Bucky want to make him cum like this all the time, stripping him of every inhibition until he can't even react to the pleasure anymore and falls entirely weak. As good as his over-the-top, entirely overwhelmed reactions to pleasure are... there's something special about finding something old and realizing it anew.

4. Modern Bucky after deprogramming

Bucky has his own entire journey with his body, obviously, and he learns a whole shit ton about how he works with the serum in his veins. How sensitive he suddenly is, not only on par with Steve in strength but also in nerves. His nerves feel raw, so much closer to the surface than they were before, and even that--even his skin feels more alive now. Just Steve's palm hot on the small of his back goes right to his dick. And his dick. Christ. He can go and go and go. Maybe not as rapidly, back-to-back-to-back as Steve, but he's also never been as into pain and discomfort as Steve so... that tracks. He also doesn't cum as much as Steve does, but that's an impossible measure. Steve floods like he busted a pipe when he orgasms.

[Insert that clip of Sebastian talking about the "game" Bucky played in Romania with his metal arm here 😏]

Sometimes, Bucky finds himself looking back, realizing that it wasn't just the repeated near-death experiences that made sex with Steve after Steve had the serum running through his veins feel different. More urgent. Primal. Now, now, now. It was his first doses of serum. Burning through him like alcohol. Raising his libido to a fever pitch.

There are still similarities from the past, though. Bucky's ability to control his volume hasn't gotten any better. It's gotten worse. His moans remain at the pitch they were during the war, ragged and desperate and raw because of how fucking good it feels.

It feels so goddamn good that Bucky starts this habit of curling into a ball when he cums. He wants to curl around his core, throbbing with want--white-hot, sticky, and too much to bear. He can't help it! It just happens. Every orgasm feels ripped out of him. Suddenly, he understands why Steve bent his dogtags so many times during the war. He understands why they broke so many cots. Why so many branches broke under Steve's hands. Why he had to sew his uniform so often, or get patches, lest he have to explain to command how he ruined his fatigues again.

Christ.

It feels good.

5. Nomad Steve

Steve's moans and whines and gasps disappear or fade into these rough, deep sounds. He starts fucking growling and Bucky doesn't know where the hell that part of him comes from but he pulls it out of Steve at every opportunity. He flaunts his body--softened by his time in hiding in a place with incredible tech and medicine and even more incredible food--until Steve folds.

Steve gives him that new fucking growl and stalks up to him and takes--

Bucky is going to figure out how to make a list of every person who has pissed Steve off over the years, every system that's told him to go fuck himself, and he's gonna write them a goddamn thank you letter. Whatever, whoever pulled the bastard out of his fucking boyfriend.

A bastard that makes Bucky scream, and then he laughs about it.

He laughs now, it's not that he didn't before, but he'll chuckle. Dirty and mean and then groan or growl and Christ.

It's hot.

It makes those little, softer, higher sounds so much sweeter, though.

Steve will be growling and giving it to him, bruising his softer, more plush body, getting mean on him, and Bucky will touch him just right--he'll scratch him behind the ear, where his long, dirty-blond hair is beginning to curl, he'll put his lips to work on his cock, pressed all the way down the hair at the base, lips and tongue working at Steve's hole between his round cheeks--and Steve will crumble.

His chest will heave, and he'll whine.

The sweetest little sound coming out of this huge, hulking man.

God.

That's when he's cumming. Right then. He cracks, crying out, and his head drops onto any part of Bucky that he can reach, forehead to his shoulder, face tucked into his neck, pressed against his tummy, anything. He shakes, clinging extra hard. Totally falling apart.

5. Wakanda Bucky

It'd probably the reason Steve and Bucky are Steve and Bucky--they balance each other out. There's something about the way Steve hardens that leaves Bucky melting.

Steve growls and groans until he doesn't, and Bucky takes to gasping, making all these sweet, breathy noises that he didn't realize he could still make. He thought he lost it somewhere along the lines of growing up and going to war. He thought the unending hunger now inside him since receiving the serum had him losing those noises. Apparently not, they just needed to be pulled out of him.

Pulled out of him, more like ripped out of him.

Ripped out like his screams. Raw and visceral. He's screamed because of Steve before, but now, if he doesn't entirely lose it and let it go (at least) every other time... it's strange.

Also, Steve's new, extra-intense propensity for being touched, needing to press into Bucky and be close reminds Bucky of a cat. A lion, maybe. No matter, Bucky responds in kind, he suddenly feels like he can only breathe when Steve is touching him. Some part of him has always felt that, but he clings. He clings. He trembles and makes sweet sounds and has to be so close as he cums. He can't. He can't. He still curls up around Steve, but he needs him. He needs to be as close as he physically can. And it still doesn't feel like enough.

It's the desperation of the serum all over again. They can't keep their hands away from each other. They never can, but, y’know... Bucky's never been more glad he doesn't have neighbors.

6. Retired Steve + Retired Bucky

Retirement leaves both Steve and Bucky reckless. Sweet reckless. Nothing matters. They can do whatever the fuck they want to do. Anything. Any discernable pattern of what it'll be like when they give into their urges goes out the window.

Sometimes Steve feels it boil up inside him, thick and lava-hot, and it comes out with a growl that he can't possibly control. Other times, it's an equally uncontrollable and needy whine or cry that's 100% pathetic. It comes from the same primal instinct.

The same need.

Steve just doesn't know what it is until it is.

And somehow Bucky's on the same page. Every time. Right there with him, feeling like being sweet when Steve is feeling like roughing him up, needing to be demanding and mean when Steve needs him to be, being what he feels and just fucking being exactly what Steve needs. Steve needs him so badly.

Bucky needs Steve so badly.

They oscillate rapidly. Nothing they do isn't good. Why wouldn't it be? There's no point in doing anything they don't want to. They deserve it. So they explore. They take the time to tear each other apart in every way they can imagine.

The other Avengers like to tease them for being scandalized by modern life, but only if they knew what retirement is for them. They know for a fact they would be the scandalized ones

I hope you enjoyed that. It was pretty rambling and not very structured, but 🤷🏻‍♂️ sometimes that's how it is

Also, yes! I love all the horny anons around these parts, lmao.

#asks #fandomfluffandfuck #bucky barnes #steve rogers #stucky

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ghostselena · 3 years ago

Text

OverHeated

Pairing: JJ Maybank x Reader

Summary: Constantly feeling rejected by JJ's friend group, you snap back during a heated argument

WARNINGS: arguments, roughness, male to female intercourse, unprotected sex (wrap it up), creampie, pure filth, 18+

a/n: I hope this one was better than the first, still warming up as I write these posts...whew I was sweating writing this shit...lawd someone get me a Jj or a Rafe! Slightly edited

You may not post this as your own anywhere. Enjoy!!

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"You didn't even fucking defend me," You argued, your arms flying all over the place in your infuriated state, facing your puzzled look boyfriend

Today was your last straw, you had just entered the chateau after Jj convinced you to show up and stay with him throughout the night, the voice of someone who you deeply trusted and who you thought you could consider a friend, was babbling about your difference and why you weren’t a great asset to the group.

"Babe, what are you talking about?" He asked with concern, sliding off his hat and ruffling his hair before putting it back on, hands placed on his hips

“Why does she even come here? A kook trying to be a pogue,” Kie had her arms crossed, eyes on jj and pope who were shocked at her revelation towards you, “Kie, you’re a kook yourself.” Pope mentioned, eyebrows raised in confusion while he turned his head to face jj

“Yeah, but that’s different,”

“But it’s not.” He argued, not understanding where this sudden distaste towards you came from.

Your boyfriend just stood there, contemplating if he should intervene between the two as they argued back and forth with one another. He couldn’t understand why the five of you couldn’t just get along, minus Sarah who adored you.

And John B? What possible excuse could he have for not liking you? He was dating the Kook princess herself, you were just a fraction of rich from what she was. You considered yourself more in the middle, rich enough to get what you needed, but not everything you fancied.

“You’re being irrational, listen to yourself right now.” With Pope still defending you in your absence, Kie was baffled and confused as to why he could possibly be defending you. Jj stayed frozen, but he still caught you listening against the door, your eyes catching one another before you quickly walked away as he chased after you.

Now here you were, arguing with one another a few feet away from the chateau, “You let her talk all this shit about me J, that’s so unfair,”

“She’s just not used to you yet babe, give her some time to warm u-“

“Fuck does that have to do with anything? Pope defended me more than you! Maybe he should be the one fucking me.” You bickered, your finger-pointing over at the house in dismay, angered at his words for even finding out ways to defend her through it all.

His hands moved quickly as he pulled you towards him, his face close to yours as he spoke, gaze no longer soft, “I dare you to say that shit again.”

You scoffed, pulling away from his grasp and pressing a finger against his chest, “He should be the one fucking me, clearly, he’s the only one who cares about me.”

As soon as you finished your sentence, he picked you up and threw you over his shoulder, his right arm holding onto you tightly while he walked towards your car, “Open the door.”

His tone was harsh while you opened the door with your keys, not wanting to argue. He opened the back door and pushed you inside, closing the door behind him once he slid in, "What are you doing?"

"Reminding you who you belong to." He asserted, your back pressed against the seats, his words making your eyes go wide in shock— hands pressed against his chest as he leaned to press his lips against yours roughly, quickly cupping your heat in his hand as he groaned against your mouth, "Shouldn't have said that,"

You whimpered against his lips, spreading your legs as you gave in, fairly too quickly to your dismay.

He takes his sweet time sliding off your jeans, along with your underwear while pressing open kisses down your neck. Pressing two fingers against your clit; collecting your arousal as he slides it down to your wet and warm cunt, pushing them into you slowly—eyes locked on yours.

Relaxing against his touch, you throw your head back in pleasure, lips parted, letting out a breathy moan. He uses his free hand to grip your chin, making you face him once more, "Fucking look at me," he spat, speeding up the pace of his fingers, curling them inside you; circling your clit with his thumb.

Your eyes stayed on one another, sliding off your shirt and throwing it to the side, happy you decided to not wear a bra today. His mouth attacked your breast, tongue twirling against your hardening nipples, moving to give equal attention to your other bud.

Quiet whimpers left your lips as his fingers and mouth became too much, your legs spreading as your back arched, the built pleasure making you lose your composure while chasing your release, nothing but moans leaving your parted lips. With your walls clenching around his fingers, your breath hitching as you felt the familiar feeling building up. He noticed the way your legs began to shake and quickly slid out of you before you climaxed.

"What the fuck?" You let out a shaky breath, your cheeks flushed while you stare at him in shock, his eyes on yours as he wrapped his lips around his fingers; sucking your collected juices off them, "You're gonna finish on my cock, got that?"

You simply nod, pressing your wet folds against his knee, grinding your hips as you ached for some relief. He chuckled at your needy state, fumbling with his belt as he unbuckled it, easily sliding down his pants down to his knee, the wet patch of your dripping cunt now visible on his pants. Your mouth watered at the sight of his hardened cock pressed against his boxers. You sat up slowly, hands already gripping the hem of his boxers, pulling them down and wrapping your hand around his thickening member. He hissed as your lips brushed against his leaking tip, his hand cupping your cheeks to look up at him.

"I Dont think so,"

He pressed you back against the seats, grabbing your legs and placing them over his shoulders, positioning himself before thrusting into you, a deep moan coming from within his throat, the suddenness making you gasp. Without letting you adjust, he quickly trusted into you, hands running down your body and cupping your breast into his hands.

He made sure to keep still as he pounded into you roughly, his cock stretching you out deliciously good, your walls clenching, swallowing him in. He leaned down to capture your lips against his, moaning against each other's mouths, his hands sliding up to capture yours; pinning them above your head.

The air is surrounded by nothing but skin clapping against one another roughly—your breathy moans and foggy windows. Not caring about getting caught, he kept you in place as he mercilessly fucked into you. "I—fuck. I fucking love you," he rasped, biting down against your neck, the car moving along with his unrelenting tempo.

Lost for words you reply with a choked sob, hiding your face against his chest as you cried out in pleasure. You wrapped your legs around his waist, the new feeling of him hitting deeper into your sweet pussy made you moan out his name, "F-fuck, right there, J"

He kept the same pace, whispering against your ear with each pounding, "You're taking me so well," his tongue sliding against your lips, sucking your bottom lip," Princess just wanted a good pounding, didn't she?" he cooed, forehead pressed against yours as you nodded, the familiar feeling building up.

Your eyes rolled back from the pleasure, your hand slipping from his as they pressed against the windows. He suddenly pulled out of you, flipping you onto your stomach and pressing your head against the cushioned seats. He gripped your hips once more, easily sliding back into your inviting cunt, his eyes watching the way his cock disappeared into your body; lips parted as he stuffed you once more.

His hips plunged into you, "gonna cum all over me, sweet girl?" his words inviting you to push against his thrusts in agreement. You rolled your hips back, earning a smack against your ass as he let you fuck yourself onto his length.

Your muscles tightened against him, his hungry thrusts keeping you close to him, "M' close," you whined, breath hitching while your muscles tightened around him. You trembled against his cock as you clench around him, coming undone and pressing your hands against the seats to keep you up.

He moaned as you came, hips stuttering before spilling himself inside you, watching the way you pushed back against him quickly, milking every last drop of his warm seed, your hips twirling around his cock slowly once more.

"fuck fuck," he gasped, pushing your body forward to slide you off of him, the overstimulation being too much. You bit your lip, looking back at him with soft eyes, "couldn't take it?"

He chuckled, leaning forward to press a soft kiss against your lips, your body pressed down against the seats. He flipped you back around to face him, pulling you on top of him as he sat, your arousal sliding onto his thigh, "Dont start with me,"

You pulled back to face him with a smile, your hands running over his hair, pecking his lips gently.

He helped you clean yourself up, pressing kisses along your thighs as he slid your underwear back up gently, "gonna leave you with some of me inside you," he mumbled, making you shake your head as you rolled your eyes playfully, "I'm still mad at you,"

You eyed him, the two of you staying quiet as he leaned back, twirling your hair on his fingers, "I'm sorry, I know I should've said something but I was too shocked," he pressed a small kiss on your shoulder, wrapping his arms around your waist while you held him.

You couldn't blame him, you were shocked as well . Someone you truly trusted and adored didn’t feel the same way about you, “Don’t apologize..I’m sorry for going off on you,”

Pressing your lips to his forehead softly, you wrapped your arms around his shoulder to keep him close,”I’ll talk to Kie, don’t worry,” he mumbled against your neck, biting it softly and earning a soft squeal from your lips

You shook your head no in disagreement , leaning back to face him once more, cupping his cheeks gently, “I got you, that’s all I need,”

He leaned to your touch, smiling as he closed his eyes and giving your hand a kiss, “I love you, sweet girl,”

“And I love you,”

A knock against your window made you both turn your heads, quickly covering your chest and jj using his body to cover you from the person outside.

A wide-eyed Pope stood outside with Kie [who had come to apologize], had the same reaction as him, “Seriously guys?”

You both laughed in response, your face turning red from embarrassment.

———-

Feedback is greatly appreciated, still warming up and excited to keep it going

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dreamkidddream · 4 years ago

Note

Can I request a teen mc who is like YUJI from jujutsu kaisen as in they are the vessel of SUKUNA PLSS? Like maybe they can manifest SUKUNA in his curse form as another being as well like megumis dogs? (If you don’t know JJK can you just do a chaotic teen mc? ❤️)

WHEW THIS ALMOST DID NOT GET POSTED SINCE TUMBLR DELETED PARTS OF IT.

So let me tell you: I started reading the manga but have yet to watch the anime 😭 it’s really good though and I’m probably gonna start it this week, but I’m not sure if I’m 100% confident in writing Sukuna. BUT this request was too good to pass up, so if you don’t like it I will write the other scenario instead just let me know!

So for these headcanons, I made it to where MC is Sukuna’s vessel like Yuji, and that they can manifest him if needed. But, I still kept it to where he’s not exactly a good guy with MC’s best interest at heart. Reader is gender neutral and younger than the Bros, so the dynamic is more family instead of romance just a heads up! Hope you enjoy!

TW: Minor cursing, spoilers for Lesson 16 in Mammon’s, Beel’s, and Belphie’s part

The Brothers with Teen MC who’s Sukuna’s Vessel

Lucifer

Was very irritated with this revelation, but still curious

Still annoyed either way though

He already had to make sure that you stayed alive during your stay and not disappoint Diavolo, but now he had to make sure that you kept this curse at bay too!

#GiveLuciferABreak2021

He’s very skeptical of you: not only because of you being a young human but also being a human with essentially a demon inside of you

A very troublesome demon if not kept under control at all times

Honestly Sukuna was like an buzzing gnat who wouldn’t just go away, so Lucifer didn’t see him as a threat personally. More of a nuisance that could grow into a threat if remained unchecked

After you explained the whole situation, he still assigned Mammon to you, but he made sure to personally keep an eye on you too

Your presence was seen as a threat at first, but as time passed, he, along with his brothers knew you meant no harm, but the same couldn’t be said for this Sukuna

He wanted to have faith in you, but he couldn’t bring himself to fully believe it. After an incident at RAD with another demon attempting to attack you, your powers (or rather Sukuna’s) came out to play

He saw the markings, the extra eyes, the malice spread on your face, and he then realized just how serious this has become. You were able to gain control back, but the damage was already done. You were so distraught, sobbing before you, trying to apologize and swearing that you didn’t mean for this to happen, all the while Sukuna was laughing, morphing a mouth on your cheek

It was so bizarre to see, and he couldn’t help but feel a pang of pity for you. You were such a kind person, always going out of the way to spend time and help wherever you could. You essentially became a part of the family, but he knew that you didn’t feel accepted because of him

After that, your “punishment” was to practice holding control over Sukuna with Lucifer, every day after school (which can just be seen as him checking in on you on a daily basis, and trying out different techniques to make sure repeats of this incident doesn’t happen again). Meaning that you trained on manifesting him at will, instead of him completely taking over

Not gonna lie he’s acting like a proud dad when he sees you making progress and Sukuna just sitting in your head tired of all this positivity lol

Lucifer cares for you, he’s accepted you fully even if you hadn’t for yourself. He wants to protect all of his family (including you), and he doesn’t want to think about what could happen if Sukuna becomes a danger to the Devildom or Diavolo...

Mammon

Is impressed but also low key nervous

Humans are not suppose to be like this, ya know!

He’s not the smartest demon in Hell, but he definitely knows that you can’t summon demons without a pact, and he knows your baby face doesn’t have one with the King of Curses

You had to break down the whole deal, and it made him even more confused and distressed

Was still acting annoyed being your designated babysitter, I mean seriously, just how annoying can you be?!

Just kidding! You guys are totally partners in crime in no time and you both make Lucifer get 2x the wrinkles now

“MC, let the Great Mammon show you how’s it done!”

“Mammon, you’re going to be the reason why we’ll be strung up again for the third time this week.”

“It’s going to be both of your idiots’ faults. Such a pathetic display.”

SHIT HE FORGOT YOU GOT A WHOLE CURSE INSIDE YOU

He HATES whenever Sukuna makes an appearance, whether you call on him or he makes his own special appearance. He’s like a gritty and more sadistic version of Lucifer, minus the style and uptight personality (and honestly the finesse too), which made him 10x the more aggravating

He honestly hates Sukuna in general. Here you are, his MC, one of the only people to stand up and defend him always, struggling to live a normal life because of him. It was bad enough that you got sent down here with no warning, but now you got sent with him, and from what Mammon could hear with the conversations between you two, he wasn’t exactly your BFF

Denies being excited about seeing you perform your cursed techniques, but only because it brings him out (and he guesses it’s a little cool that you know how to do it). But human, you don’t need that lame curse, you got the great demon himself to protect you!

On a darker note, you made Mammon swear to you that if Sukuna took over and you for some reason couldn’t gain back control, that he would protect himself and his brothers first before worrying about you. He hated this even coming up, you should be worrying about what’s the next scheme you guys could pull off, not some weird sharpie colored entity causing problems. But you were dead serious, and you made him promise that if the worst case scenario ever happened, he would make sure it’s taken care of

Mammon realized you were the missing piece to their family. It felt nice to have someone depend on him, to actually treat him with respect and care for him truly. He refused to accept Sukuna as a part of you (really he just acted like he didn’t exist, which he didn’t in his mind), and he refused to let him or anyone else harm you

You’re family now, and he wasn’t going to lose anyone else ever again

Leviathan

Oh look, another normie

Wow, you’re such a normie that you’re even talking to yourself through a manifested mouth on your palm-wait WHAT

You broke it down to him, and you just...stared at you, with a blank expression on his face. Until-

“OMG THIS IS JUST LIKE THE ANIME-“

How ironic lol

He practically had a fanboy overload moment whenever you showed off your cursed techniques to him after he begged asked you countless times

You guys remember that vine with the kid saying, “I have the power of God and anime on my side”? Recreate that while doing your moves and he’ll be in awe and dying laughing at the same time

Will post it to his Devilgram and DevilTube

His envy will start to show at first. How is it that someone boring like you get to have all these cool powers and have an actual king reside in you?? You’re living the Shonen dream and not even grateful for it!

But this reality for him would soon shatter after he saw Sukuna for himself, and the way that he behaved towards you. The way that the curse would just look at with disdain in his eyes just made Levi’s skin crawl. He was made well aware that you were in fact not living the anime dream he thought you were. The look in your eyes reminded him of how he would feel whenever he felt like a scummy otaku, and from that point forward he would find ways to cheer you up

You can plan on having anime marathons, game nights, even talking with Henry (I hc that he can talk and understand aquatic animals) when you get into these moods. Anything that helps him get out of his funks he’s hoping it helps you too. You don’t deserve this type of treatment from anyone, especially someone that even he can no doubt eliminate

You were honestly one of the coolest people that he knows, and one of the strongest too! Not just physically, but mentally too. He can’t imagine what could be going on in your head since Sukuna became a part of you, but he knows that you’re strong enough to overcome anything that he throws at you. And if you had moments where you faltered or doubted yourself, that’s okay! Levi would be right beside you the whole way, doing anything he can to keep pushing you forward

Be the teen anime hero that he’s know you can be MC! You wouldn’t be his Henry if he didn’t have any faith in you, you know?

Bonus: you don’t have to worry about your anime nights being ruined after one night when Sukuna somehow found a spoiler to an anime that Levi was really anticipating became a very visual warning for the curse. Levi convinced you to let him take over, and whatever was said resonated with him because you never heard a peep after that, both out loud and in your head

Satan

Oh he was BEYOND fascinated

We all know how much Satan loves to read and how smart he is, so while you look at your condition as a curse (no pun intended), he saw it as an opportunity

Could you feel this curse coursing through your body? Did you feel stronger? Could he see through your eyes all the time or only when you let him? He had so many questions it wasn’t even funny

Very understanding of your situation surprisingly (but still called you dumb for eating Sukuna’s finger)

Satan would be one of the only people you could really trust when dealing with Sukuna. Yes, you trusted all of the brothers, but if you were really in a bind you could count on Satan to come up with a solution quickly

The only issue was his anger. Everyone knows just how angry he can get, and to avoid him ASAP if you even think he’s getting frustrated. Sukuna knows this too, and will be more than happy to taunt him to truly bring out his wrath. While he does need you alive (for now), it wouldn’t hurt to have some type of fun around here. Plus, this could cause your bonds with these brothers to weaken, and the weaker the bond, the weaker the will to help you keep him at bay and defeat him

But Satan knew better, and you did your best in keeping Sukuna away. He may be the Avatar of Wrath but that didn’t mean he was stupid. However, he did have one slip up unfortunately

You see, he was just having a bad day and already got into a spat with Lucifer, and you sensed that he certainly needed his space. So while you slowly backtracked to your room and from his path, Sukuna decided to be the evil ass that he is, and proceed to provoke him. What finally made him snap was his comment that, “You would be a formidable opponent if you weren’t in your older brothers’ shadow, but oh well. Can’t help who you come from I see.”

It took Beel, Mammon, and Lucifer to properly restrain him from ripping Sukuna (really you) limb from limb, with him laughing manically and you scrambling back in fear. Which called for a very long, detailed family meeting (of course after Satan fully calmed down) that resulted in mediated meetings between you and him for the next month. You felt guilty, you should have done better containing him, but you couldn’t predict whenever he decided to pop up!

But after a long talk, Satan didn’t blame you. He blamed himself for losing to his anger and especially blamed Sukuna. He decided that it was time to get rid of this pest once and for all. Be ready MC, cause once he puts his mind to something, there’s no stopping him

Prepare for your bonding time to be deep into books and practicing new hexes and curses. But don’t worry, it’s not always boring and Satan makes sure that you’re having some type of fun. He’s really doing this to have some sort of protection for you: whether it’s against Sukuna or himself. He wants you to know something besides your cursed techniques just in case they fail for some reason

Will shockingly want you to manifest the curse, one main reason is to obviously collect information on him, the other reason is to test said hexes and curses on him

Can a curse be cursed? Let’s find out

You helped Satan with him realizing that anger isn’t the only emotion that you can feel, and with you being so young, he wanted you to experience life as much as you can. And while you had an extra...passenger with you, he will do his best to make sure that it doesn’t get in the way of you enjoying life. It was nice to see a joyous smile on your face

Also you guys did find a hex that made Sukuna meow for the whole day and it was the best thing to ever happen with him lmao

Asmodeus

Honestly wasn’t really bothered with it at first. If anything, he treated it like hot gossip when you told him in the beginning

One thing he will say though: humans can be so revolting at times. I mean you ate a rotten finger, a cursed, aged, sharp, disgusting- you get the point. He did cringe at that, but everything else was pretty normal besides that

Still talked about your daily gossip, painted nails, the works. But recently, Sukuna’s name has been coming up more and more in your recent convos. Asmo, being quite the messy curious demon, wanted to know more about this curse

He really treated Sukuna like he was just your show and tell act and would want you to bring it out to see how he really was. He was amused with your cursed techniques, but he wanted to see more!

He heard you both talking with one another, and he wanted to see him in person! He hasn’t done anything and you’re among the seven strongest in Hell, so what could go wrong?

So much. So much could go wrong

And so much went wrong

After you manifested him, it went downhill from there. The large amount of control you did show caught his attention, but then it moved to the King of Curses himself. He was very delighted to see him up close for more than a couple of seconds, and took his time admiring his physique up close. It was fun for him, but not for you. Sukuna could feel your will slipping since your focus was being divided dealing with Asmo, so he took this as his time to shine

You had an exhausting day, and you were tired, which he used to his advantage. Asmo started to complain when Sukuna suddenly disappeared, but didn’t have a chance to voice it as your arm suddenly gripped the front of his shirt. He felt himself jolt, feeling his heart pumping. He looked into your eyes and realized that this wasn’t you, this was now Sukuna. The black markings that lined your face along with the new eye color (and the extra pair of eyes) came with a grin that stretched across your face

“What’s the matter? You were so eager to be in my presence, is it not to your liking now that the tables have turned? You claim to be one of the strongest, yet I would be able to kill you just being in this form-Ah, the brat is trying to come back, what a shame. Do me a favor, little Asmodeus, don’t insult me like this again. I am a King, and you will remember that. I might have to pay you another visit and take your heart with me next time to make sure you’re aware of that.”

He didn’t give Asmo time to answer, as his grip loosened and you were back. He saw you stumbling, shook out of his own thoughts and reached to catch you. He knew that this curse was an issue, but he didn’t understand just how serious this was, how serious it had gotten so quickly. The thought of Sukuna didn’t scare him, but the promise of him coming back just for him caused some worry. He wasn’t the weakest, but he didn’t want to hurt you! As much as he couldn’t stand his new found scorn of Sukuna, it wasn’t enough for him to take the chance of injuring you

You didn’t strike fear in him, rather the opposite. To see someone he has grown to care about be the one to try and bring his demise was...saddening. He could just feel his heart breaking at the notion. And if this experience taught him one thing is to be more understanding of what you’re going through

You remembered bits and pieces of the incident, and whenever you asked Asmo about it, he would divulge a tad in what happened, but wouldn’t go into too much detail. He didn’t want you blaming yourself, and he didn’t want you to distance yourself from him either. You already proven yourself of formindable you are ever since you gotten down here, and Asmo wasn’t going to let some jealous wannabe demon get in the way of that!

So no more talk of the thing, and whenever it did want to make an unsuspecting visit, Asmo would be ready. The thing was immune to most curses, but that didn’t mean that he couldn’t be charmed to some extent, right?

Has covered the eye slits up with makeup and other beauty products every morning, becomes both of your favorite bonding activity. Anything to erase any evidence of it existing and to hear your giggles brightens his day everytime!

Beelzebub

Is very sympathetic of your ordeal

Has mad respect for you eating that finger though, even he doesn’t think that he would eat that

Maybe with some sauces and some Hellroast he might

Is another brother that tries to keep an eye on you. If this Sukuna really is as dangerous as you make him out to be, then he would make sure to be prepared if things went south

Beel’s motto: stay ready you ain’t gotta get ready

Will want you to practice your moves with him. Beel’s pretty powerful, and on muscles alone is one of the strongest brothers. He wants to make sure that you can recognize your full potential, and to always do your best. Expect to be in the gym or the HoL’s backyard working out and training majority of the week

Is thoroughly impressed with your cursed techniques

Beel doesn’t understand that while yes, you have a whole curse residing in you, doesn’t make you less of a human. He forgets that you still have some limitations, and you have to remind him at least twice a week. You gotten more powerful yes, but you still weren’t at Beel’s level

“You can do it MC! Don’t give up!”

“Beel this is over 500 pounds...are you forgetting that I’m still HUMAN-”

But you can never stay mad at him, he’s just too sweet and he means well. He genuinely wants you safe and prepared if anything happens with Sukuna, and if getting you buffed up makes him feel somewhat at ease, then you’ll deal with it

Shares his food with you sometimes. He makes sure that you eat properly too, so no skipping out on meals!

Great listener! Whether you’re complaining about class, talking about a new restaurant you’re interested in (he’s definitely tuned in), or venting about Sukuna, he’s all ears. Even gives you advice if you ask for it or if you really need it

Has encountered Sukuna while he took over your body once, and let me tell you, he was not happy at all

Beel is one of the brothers that are in touch with his emotions; he doesn’t really fly off the handle into a rage unless someone has done something to his family or if he’s being denied food. But now that you’re family and vulnerable not only to other demons but to this curse inhabiting your body, he wasn’t taking any chances

He made sure to be very clear when talking with Sukuna. He wouldn’t stand for anything happening to you, and he made sure that the curse would wish he stayed scattered if that boundary was crossed

Beel is a very protective big brother that’s constantly looking out for you all the time. Even if you feel like that you need to bare this burden on your own, he makes sure that you never feel alone.

He already lost Lilith, and he doesn’t want to lose you too. He won’t mess up this time

Belphegor

See, he knew that there was something wrong with humans, and you were living proof of that

How can you trust humans not knowing if they have another creature living within them?!

Whatever, he’s too sleepy to even care about it

And you weren’t one of the worst so...he guesses that you’re tolerable, but don’t push it!

In the beginning, he thought it was easy to manipulate you, but he could just sense that something wasn’t right with you (and no, it wasn’t because you were just human). He would hear you talking aloud to yourself, except that you were...responding to yourself too?

He thought you finally cracked up lmao

He brought it up as a joke once, but the way you reacted was tense and...ashamed? Oh, he just hit a gold mine. This could make things much more interesting. You shared a little bit of your story with this so called “King of Curses”, but he was smart enough to make a plan off of the information. Maybe he could take advantage of Sukuna like he is of you. Kill two birds with one stone

Well his plan backfired swiftly. After he was freed from the attic and went straight in for the kill, things went array. His hands were wrapped around your neck, he could-should see the life leaving your eyes, but instead he was met with Sukuna’s gaze. Belphie thought he planned this right, he made sure that he didn’t give you enough time to manifest him or to use your curse techniques, so how was this-

“You think I don’t recognize the look of bloodlust, you spoiled child? You were foolish enough to believe that you could get rid of me this easily like the brat?!”, and he was sent flying across the room. How was this happening, this wasn’t suppose to happen!-

“As much as I would like to see them die, they’re useful to me for the time being. Once they are of no use anymore, the only one who will be relishing in their demise is me. They’ll be dying by my hand, not by some weakened child.”

Those words still resonated with him still to this day. Honestly, the whole incident did. No matter how many times he tried to convince himself that you forgiven him and want to build a real bond together, his mind refused to erase that horrid memory, and he deserved it. When Belphie remembers back to that day, he remembers the horrified and heart breaking looks on his brothers’ faces, the way that your eyes show how betrayed and petrified, and how you were gasping out begging him to stop, before he comes out and puts everyone in danger

He felt disgusting, guilty, mortified, regretful, a disappointment. Those feelings only escalated after having them explain the truth to him, both about yourself and being a descendent of his dead sister. He could see how much you touched his family, and you extended that kindness to him too, and he just exploited it

He stayed far away from you for a very long time. He didn’t try to approach you at all, only staying in the planetarium or even the attic, to avoid crossing paths with you. He didn’t deserve to make a connection with you like his older brothers, as much as he wanted to. He was remorseful, it wasn’t because of the whole Lilith revelation, but because you really didn’t deserve that happening to you

You made the first move to make amends, to have a fresh start, and he couldn’t have been more grateful, albeit nervous. He was so terrified of messing things up again, but you were there to help keep him grounded. “I won’t lie to say that what you did was okay, but I’m willing to move on from it. You aren’t completely forgiven, but we can work towards fixing things, together.”

Belphie was shaken by Sukuna’s words, but he wasn’t necessarily scared of him. In fact, he would personally find a way to cast him out of your body and destroy him permanently as the perfect apology and thank you gift; the thank you for reuniting him with his family, and for helping them develop healthy relationships with one another. They weren’t as separate as before, and it made him feel so warm every time he thought about it

Not that he would ever say that to anyone

You both spent time together either napping or plotting for future LYS (Lucifer You Suck) pranks. And since Belphie is pretty good with magic himself, he would be teaching you some new spells or curses that you could use to protect yourself, even against the curse inside you

Belphie will make sure to not make another huge mistake when it comes to you ever again. He’ll have his little slip ups, but you were never put into harms way because of them. He doesn’t want to sabatoge this bond, and he wants you to truly be happy spending time with him. He’s not the greatest role model (obviously) and may be tight lipped about how he feels most of the time, but he really does have your best interests at heart

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atsixesandcevans · 5 years ago

Text

the fire it ignites

Summary: God, Steve hated you. And he tended to not say he hated someone. He was a firm believer that every person has both good and bad within them, so usually he’d say that he strongly disliked a person.

But you? Oh, he hated you.

Pairing: Steve Rogers/Reader

Word Count: 6.6k (whew)

Warnings: angst, language, some poorly written violence, Steve being kind of an asshole

A/N: This was written for @sherrybaby14‘s Fall Into You challenge, and my prompt was “I hated you before I even met you,” which I have put in bold. I played around with a few different concepts before settling on this one, and I’ve not really written anything like this before actually really enjoyed writing it, even if i am a teensy bit late posting!

It’s like 2:30am and I literally just finished this so I apologise for any mistakes.

I’m considering writing a sequel to this, so let me know what you think!

Read on AO3

God, Steve hated you. And he tended to not say he hated someone. He was a firm believer that every person has both good and bad within them, so usually he’d say that he strongly disliked a person. If that dislike went deep enough that he used the word hate… well, then you must be the worst of the worst. He’d hated Nazis, obviously, and Hydra, but he found that despite how much he disliked him, Steve just couldn’t bring himself to say that he hated that jackass Hodge from his time in New Jersey.

But you? Oh, he hated you.

He hated the way you strode through the compound that first day – in black heeled boots, leather jacket, dark sunglasses and deep red lipstick – chewing on bubblegum, hair almost arrogantly flipped over your shoulder… Steve knew you were trouble right from the get-go.

Your reputation had preceded you, meaning that Steve – like most of the other Avengers, most likely – knew exactly who you were the minute you had waltzed through the doors of the conference room, no introduction necessary. He’d hated the way you pulled your sunglasses off, hanging them off the deep neckline of your tshirt, blowing a bubble between your perfectly painted lips, greeting them with a cheerfully nonchalant “sup, fellas?”, taking a seat in the rolling chair at the end of the table. He hated the way you kicked your feet up on the edge of the table, one ankle resting across the other, popping another bubble.

From where he stood at the other end of the table, preparing to begin briefing for the next mission, Steve glanced around the room at the others in an attempt to gauge their reactions to the unexpected intrusion.

Tony, unsurprisingly, had his lips pursed in a badly-suppressed smile, a mischievous glint in his eye that Steve knew could only mean trouble. Nat was smirking, arms crossed, and Wanda was suitably baffled by you, though Steve could see the underlying admiration in her gaze. Perhaps it was your confidence, god knows Wanda had struggled with that for some time.

Clint looked bored, as usual, but the way he straightened just a little in his seat alerted Steve to intrigue he was feeling. Sam wore a smirk, one eyebrow raised, eyes moving steadily over your reclined form. You met his gaze and winked in return, before your eyes slid over to Steve.

He was visibly tense, arms crossed defensively across his toned chest, biceps straining against the frankly sinfully tight gym shirt, brows knitted together in a disapproving frown. You revelled in his obvious discomfort, nodding almost tauntingly at him, satisfied smirk on your lips as you drawled, “captain.”

Tony stood, the single clap of his hands breaking the tense silence that had fallen over the room. “Okay, guys, this is Y/N, the newest member of the team. Y/N, you already know everyone’s names, I presume?”

Your eyes flicked between each face staring back at you, before they landed back on Steve. “You bet I do,” voice smooth as honey, eyes raking over Steve’s body, relishing in the way he seemed to somehow tense even further, the slightest blush turning his cheeks and the tips of his ears pink. You wondered how on earth one man was allowed to be so breathtakingly hot, and incredibly cute at the exact same time.

Steve looked in the direction of Tony, who was actively avoiding his gaze. “Tony.” It took nearly everything in him to keep his voice level and calm, reasoning that there had to be a logical explanation to this, preferably one that didn’t involve Tony keeping things from him – from them – again. “Care to explain?”

Tony sighed, and Steve didn’t miss the look of guilt that passed over his face. No such luck, then.

“I swear, it wasn’t me this time,” he paused, appearing to internally deliberate something in his mind. “Although, I can see why you would think that, not to mention I did keep this information from you, BUT…” he interjected quickly, already anticipating the inevitable lecture from Steve, who had already opened his mouth to start. “It was under Fury’s orders,” he finished with a shrug, his face an expression of ‘what can you do?’

Taking a deep breath, Steve rubbed the bridge of his nose, a headache already manifesting. “Why would Fury want you to keep this from me?”

Tony’s expression morphed into one of forced nonchalance, muttering “something… about… you probably not agreeing with his decision…” he lifted one shoulder in a shrug, scratching at his beard, eyes everywhere except Steve. “Or something.”

Steve heaved an exasperated sigh and looked to the ceiling, muttering “goddammit, Fury.” He returned his gaze to Tony, who was sat back down in his seat, the same look of feigned innocence on his face. “Regardless of whether he kept it from me or not, why would Fury recruit someone else?”

Several others around the table started talking, some agreeing with Steve, others chiming in with their own theories of why you were there. The volume in the room quickly rose, until no singular voice could be discerned from the others.

You just sat there, watching the scene unfold before you, still chewing absent-mindedly with a small, satisfied smile on your face. The sharp snap of your bubblegum brought their attention back to you, voices dropping as you smiled ruefully. “Can I say something?” you didn’t wait for a response, lifting your legs down from the table. You folded your arms and rested your elbows against the edge of the table, continuing, “Fury recruited me because you need me.” Steve narrowed his eyes at the way your smile morphed into one that oozed cockiness. “And I’ve got nothin’ else going on right now, so here I am.”

Steve tried his best to keep his anger under control. He didn’t like your attitude and he certainly didn’t care for how… vulnerable he felt under your gaze, like you could see right into his very soul. It had been a long time since he’d felt this small when a woman looked at him, and he couldn’t say he enjoyed that particular trip down memory lane.

He sighed, heavy and defeated, before moving towards the door, actively not looking at you. “We’ll pick this up again later. I’m going to talk to Fury.” The room was silent as the door swung shut behind him and Tony, who was hurrying after him.

You broke the silence with an eyebrow raised. “So. What now?”

---

Some time later, you found yourself sat amongst the Avengers – minus Steve and Tony, who you presumed were arguing with Fury about your presence – in the common room, feeling more relaxed than you had in a long time.

It was difficult to come by a feeling of calm, especially as a mercenary. You were almost always trailing one person or another, occasionally even two or three at a time. Then there was the actual kill, and while each and every one gave you a thrill, it was often difficult to keep it clean. Bad guys don’t tend to go down without a fight, unfortunately.

Your job really took it out of you, but every now and then some big crime boss would get wind of your identity and you’d have to lay low for a while, moving from shitty apartment to shitty apartment trying to remain hidden.

It was during one of these periods that Fury had found you, cornered you on your way home from the supermarket a few blocks from your apartment in Crown Heights. He’d made you an offer you couldn’t refuse; a steady paycheck, a place to live, guaranteed protection from the laundry list of enemies you had made over the years. The paperwork was finalised, and you took your motorbike and single duffel bag of belongings up to the Avengers Compound, plastering on your hard demeaner, despite the anxiety that threatened to break through the surface.

It helped that you knew – at least recognised – all of the faces sitting around the table in the conference room, made it less daunting to place yourself in front of Earth’s Mightiest Heroes or whatever.

What you hadn’t expected was such a cold reception from the Captain. It’s not like you had expected to be immediately welcomed with open arms, you knew very well what your reputation was like, and even those who didn’t know your alias probably wouldn’t be immediately open to a random person joining the tight-knit team out of the blue. But to be met with such obvious distaste from a man you had thought would at least give you a chance, a man whom you had admired from afar for years… it stung, no matter how much you told yourself it didn’t.

The only saving grace, you supposed, was that the rest of the team had been more welcoming. Nat approached you quickly after Steve left the conference room, having encountered you a few times over the years, understanding the work you did taking out bad guys. She understood the need to use any means necessary to eliminate a target, even if it meant working outside of the law.

She’d nodded her head towards the door, saying “come on, I’ll show you around,” with a closed-lipped smile on her face, putting you at ease with her relaxed posture and easy smile. She gave you a quick tour, stopping at an empty bedroom across from hers in the private quarters section of the compound, finishing with the common area, where the others were seated and talking absently, reading and playing games. Conversation dipped in volume when you entered, but Natasha didn’t pay the change any attention, instead announcing “guys, this is Y/N.” Some muttered yeah we know her name already’s bubbled up, but went ignored by Nat who continued, “also known as Blade.” This seemed to resonate with them, silencing their confusion.

“You’re Blade?” Sam asked, incredulous. “The merc who single-handedly took out an entire crime network with nothing but a handful of throwing knives?”

You slipped back into your façade, arms crossed, a smirk forming on your face. “The one and only.”

That seemed to be the perfect ice breaker, because the others began to chime in with their own questions about you, your missions, your hidden identity, among other things, conversation remaining light. Wanda looked a little uneasy still, but you knew from what Nat had told you about her that she found it difficult to trust people, and was one of the newer members of the team, still trying to find her place among them. You couldn’t exactly blame her for that, so you just tried to not flat-out exclude her from conversation, and hope that at some stage the two of you could become friends.

Even from your limited time with them, you could tell how close everyone was. Jokes and light-hearted insults were thrown around and you wondered if this was the place you’d finally be able to call home.

---

Steve made the walk back from Fury’s office to the living quarters, silently massaging the tension between his eyes that had grown exponentially in the last hour or so.

When he arrived at Fury’s office, Tony trailing somewhere behind him, Steve had been greeted by name with a deep voice before Fury had even turned from his chair facing the window. He’d been expecting him, apparently. He’d spent the next forty minutes arguing why it was a bad idea to have an actual criminal on the team, especially without having passed any kind of test and with an attitude as arrogant as yours.

Fury, of course, was having none of it, countering all of his arguments infuriatingly quickly, leaving Steve no space to disagree with him. Which he might have done, in different circumstances, but was definitely not doing in this one. Not when it was you.

He’d felt a tiny pang of guilt at this thought, with he quickly pushed away, reminding himself how dangerous and unpredictable you were, not to mention the extreme cockiness you had exuded.

In the end, Fury had dismissed him with a finality in his voice as he said “she’s on the team, cap, whether you like it or not.”

And so, Steve made his way back towards his room to grab a towel before heading to the gym to work off some of his frustration, stopping at the kitchen to fill his water bottle.

As he approached the common area, however, he was greeted with rich laughter and bright voices, one of which he recognised to be yours. He rounded the corner, spotting his friends – and you – relaxed into the plush red couches that were grouped around the television, with smiles on faces as what sounded like stories of times before were passed around. Steve ignored the voices, making a beeline for the sink, hoping to go unnoticed.

Of course, he wasn’t that lucky.

He was halfway back to the door when he heard his name being called, and he turned reluctantly to Sam, who was animatedly inviting Steve to join them, knowing he had plenty of funny stories from his youth that usually he’d be perfectly willing to share. This time, though, he only muttered something about heading to the gym, eyes meeting yours for the briefest of moments before he turned and left, taut back muscles visibly straining against the material of his tshirt.

Your eyes followed him out, jaw tensing silently for just a second as Nat nudged you with her shoulder. “Sorry about him, I don’t know what’s up with him at the moment.”

You shrugged. “It’s whatever.” Your well-practiced nonchalance shining through once again. “I don’t need his approval, he’s not the one who recruited me.”

Conversation soon returned to as it was, though the topic did eventually shift to more casual things. And yet, you still couldn’t shake the slight ache in your chest at the captain’s disapproval.

---

You found your place in the team surprisingly quickly. The first few weeks were pretty uneventful, mostly consisting of being caught up with the current ongoing missions, as well as training; while you were a seasoned professional with your knives, Nat insisted that it was important to know how to take someone down hand-to-hand, as well as fire a gun, so that you were prepared in the event that you didn’t have access to your knives.

You regularly joined the team in the common room for meals and down time, though occasionally you retreated to your room for some peace and quiet.

You didn’t see much of Steve in those first weeks. He did join you and the others in the common room some nights, though only when he didn’t have an excuse not to, or when the team griped at him about not seeing him recently.

The knowledge that he didn’t want to be there, because you were, was more difficult to deal with than you had anticipated. As much as you insisted you didn’t, you longed for his approval, his own actions having been your original inspiration to want to do good in the world. The life you had built for yourself wasn’t exactly what you had planned, but things happen and sometimes you have to roll with the punches. It just happened that life had punched you square in the face more times than was your fair share.

It wasn’t that Steve was cruel towards you, per se, it was more of the fact that he was just indifferent. He didn’t care enough about you to be mean to you, treating you like his subordinate – which, in all fairness, you were – and nothing more. There was a palpable tension whenever he was in the same room with you, and he never allowed himself to be near you if the others weren’t too. He hadn’t assigned you any missions since you arrived, and whenever he was questioned about it, he’d simply say that you needed more training, or that your skillset wasn’t what was needed this time.

You weren’t the only one who noticed his behaviour. Natasha, being the class-A spy that she was, cottoned on pretty quickly and cornered him in the conference room after a meeting, once everyone else had left.

“What is your problem?” she spoke in a harsh whisper.

Steve sighed, feigning impassivity, “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” and busied his hands with clearing up the files on the table, refusing to meet her eyes.

“Cut the crap, Rogers. I’m talking about your problem with Y/N. Why have you been acting so cold towards her, not letting her go on missions?”

Steve knew full well that he couldn’t bullshit her any longer. “I don’t trust her.”

“I know there’s more to it than that. This goes beyond not trusting someone. Now, I’m going to ask you again: what is your problem with her?”

He rolled his eyes, hating her ability to see right through people. “I don’t like her attitude. She’s cocky and blasé and its going to get her and us into trouble.”

Letting out an exasperated sigh. “She’s that way because she has to be. Do you think anyone would take her seriously if she wasn’t? Would you?” Steve remained silent, knowing that she was right, as usual. Her voice softened a little. “All I ask is that you give her a chance. Her attitude aside, has she given you any reason to think she’s not good enough?” They were both silent for a few moments, before Nat patted his arm twice and turned for the door, leaving Steve alone with his conflicting thoughts.

---

You weren’t sure exactly what changed, but you were glad for it.

Steve was less hostile, though he was still never alone with you. He actually looked at you when he spoke to the team, and each time he did, your heart beat just a little bit faster. Finally, finally, he allowed you on a mission, just basic recon, but it was a mission nonetheless. When you came back with Nat and Clint, successful, he had sent you on a couple more, and you didn’t even care about it being lacking on the action side of things, you were just happy to be a useful member of the team.

Eventually, you were needed on an actual mission.

There’d been a tip, a possible HYDRA base somewhere near Minsk, and everyone was needed. Take out the bad guys, get information if possible. It was nothing anyone hadn’t done before.

You threw yourself into the preparations, slipping into the tac suit Tony had made for you, adorned with both visible and hidden sheaths for knives, big and small, as well as a tactical belt and gun holster.

Nat had landed the jet far enough away from the base that they wouldn’t be alerted it its presence, before the team approached on foot. You’d all stormed the building, easily taking out the first agents that tried to fight back.

Then everything went sideways.

There were too many of them, that much became apparent pretty quickly. Everyone had been assigned an area of the building to clear, splitting up once you were past the initial defences.

You fought your way towards your designated room, towards the back of the building on a side where recon told you would be fairly quiet. The fighter in you was disappointed that everyone else seemed to get more of the action, but conceded that, as it was your first real mission with the team, you should use this opportunity to see how everyone works together.

As it turned out, there were a lot more men to take down than any of you thought. When it became clear that the team wasn’t going to win this one, Steve gave the order to retreat, shouting over the sound of gunfire and metal clashing.

Where you were, there were only a few left, and you caught a glimpse of a door behind them that you could’ve sworn wasn’t on the blueprints of the building everyone had studied before the mission. You powered through and, with one last burst of energy, delivered one kick and punch after another, the last agent finally falling into a heap on the floor.

Breathing heavily, you approached the door, fully aware that you were disobeying orders. But, surely Steve and the others would appreciate the intel about what was behind that door?

Steve’s voice came through your earpiece, quieter now that he didn’t have to shout, but no less demanding. The sound of fighting had stopped too, he must have gotten back to the jet already.

“Y/N? Where are you, why aren’t you at the jet?”

“There’s a door that wasn’t on the blueprints. I’m going to see what’s behind it.”

“No, I told you, get back to the jet. The mission’s over.”

“It wasn’t on the blueprints, Steve, they must be hiding something. I have to find out what.”

“No.” He was angry now, that’s for sure. “It’s too risky. Get back to the jet.” Every word was measured, laced with authority and barely-contained rage.

You considered your options. Realistically, you knew he was right. There was no way to know what could be behind that door. But, you were already in trouble. Might as well get something to show for it.

“No, Steve, I’m going in.” You heard his exasperated sigh and muttered curse and knew you were in for it once you got back to the compound. You heard footsteps behind you, and you drew your gun, turning towards the sound, only to be faced with a smirking Natasha, though she looked a little disgruntled too. She clearly wanted you to know she was there, you knew full well that she could be completely silent when she wanted to. You relaxed a little, lowering the gun, though not returning it to its holster. “I’m still going in, Nat.”

She gave a side-nod of understanding. “Yeah, I figured. Just hurry up or else Steve’ll kick my ass as well as yours.”

You gave a humourless laugh and approached the door once again, Nat close beside you. It surprised as well as concerned you that the door wasn’t locked. You and Nat shared a look before pushing the door open wider, guns raised.

You’d barely taken three steps into the dark room when suddenly you were both blown backwards a good six feet, heat engulfing you.

You hit the ground hard, landing awkwardly on your wrist in an attempt to break your fall. But your momentum forced your head back, smacking onto the concrete floor, and everything went black.

---

The first thing you noticed when you came to was the pain radiating through the back of your skull. A constant, throbbing kind of pain where you just know there’ll be a bump there.

Faint voices, almost hushed, distant. You try to focus on them, who it is, what they’re saying, but your mind is fuzzy with both the undoubted concussion you had, as well as whatever cocktail of pain medication they had pumped through you.

Peeking through your closed eyelids, you battled against the harsh light of what you presumed was the med bay. A quick glance around the room confirmed your assumption, your eyes landing on Natasha, sat in one of those horrible plasticky chairs. She smirked at you when your eyes met, one eyebrow raised.

“Morning, sleepy head.” You groaned in response, her soft voice still somehow too harsh for your head. “How are you feeling?”

“Can’t say it’s the best I’ve ever felt.” A small chuckle slipped from Nat at that. “How long have I been out?”

“Only a couple hours since we got back, so six hours or so including the ride on the jet.”

You nodded a little, at least you hadn’t been out for days. You closed you eyes against the harsh light for a second, then suddenly remembered exactly what had happened, quickly turning to face Natasha, the movement painful but thankfully not unbearably so.

“Are you hurt?” your eyes scanned over her, searching for any sign of injury. There was a white bandage wrapped around her ankle, but other than that she appeared to be okay.

Natasha laughed, genuine and full, shaking her head. “Don’t worry, all I had was a sprained ankle and a couple bruises on my shoulders. Trust me, I’ve been through much worse.”

Despite her reassurances, you felt the beginnings of tears well up in your eyes. “God, Nat, I’m so sorry, if I had just done as Steve told me then I wouldn’t have got you hurt.”

She was shaking her head, eyes soft, whispering, “seriously, Y/N, don’t worry about it. Between you and me, I would have done exactly the same thing in your position.” You eventually relented, relaxing back on the bed a little, eyes growing heavy with fatigue and pain meds. “Though, full disclosure, Steve is none too happy about this whole thing.”

You groaned, sinking further down, instantly dreading the moment you would inevitably be confronted by him. It was as you were running through excuses and reasons for your actions when you slipped into a restless sleep.

---

During the two days you were in the med bay – for observation and precaution purposes, according to Bruce – most of the team came to visit at least once, usually to marvel at the sizeable bump on your head, or to catch you up with what was going on around the compound.

Nat was an almost constant, not being able to go on missions anyway, because of her ankle, and you passed the time telling stories about your fellow avengers – funny things they did or had done to them – and playing some games.

Ever loyal, Sam wasn’t totally comfortable with your decision to go against Steve’s orders, but was thoroughly impressed by your injuries.

Even Tony came in, briefly, probably out of obligation, before claiming to be uncomfortable in places like this and swiftly hurried off, no doubt back to the lab to bury himself back into whatever crazy project he was working on.

Most of the rest of the team came in at some point during those two days, though some were definitely courtesy more than anything.

The only one who didn’t come to see you was Steve.

Not that you were surprised by the fact that he didn’t want to see you, but this was a perfect opportunity for him to corner you and confront you about the mission. You were incapacitated, borderline bedbound, in a room with only one door which his wide shoulders would take up the majority of by just standing there.

You tried to ignore the pang of sadness you felt at the fact that he hadn’t stopped by. Regardless of whether or not you disobeyed him, you were still his teammate, surely he cares at least a little for your wellbeing?

You stop that train of thought before it could go any further, before it could even make the suggestion that Steve really didn’t care about you at all, because somehow that would be worse than the knowledge that he hated you.

---

As it turns out, you didn’t see Steve for another three days after you left the med bay. You’d been informed by Natasha that he and Sam were away on a smaller mission that only required the two of them, and you were silently grateful that you were given a few days to settle back into routine before your inevitable run-in with Steve.

Although you were allowed to be up and about, and the bump on your head had significantly decreased in size, you were under strict instructions from Bruce to not engage in any strenuous activity. You chuckled quietly at Bruce’s flustered reaction to you making a joke about whether sex counted as ‘strenuous.’

In any case, sine you were barred from even entering the training room, you had taken on some more admin-orientated jobs from Maria and Fury until Bruce gave you the all clear on your injuries. You prayed that day would come soon, the lack of any form of physical activity was making you tense, restless. You were bored, for possibly the first time since arriving on the compound.

---

You were in one of the conference rooms, tidying up papers left on the table from a meeting, murmuring the words to a song you’d heard on the radio earlier that day under your breath, when the door opened and shut.

Your back was to the door, so you didn’t see who entered, but you presumed that it was someone coming in for a meeting in the next slot.

“Just a second, sorry, I’ll be out of your way in a moment.” Your voice was bright, cheery, despite the dullness of your days now. When you got no reply from the person behind you, you quickly gathered the remaining pages into your hands and turned around, only to be met by the one face you had hoped not to see.

Steve.

His jaw was hard-set, though you weren’t sure you’d ever seen him with a relaxed face, and his arms were crossed over his chest, grey tshirt straining against his bulging muscles, the bottom half of his tac suit still on his legs. He must have just gotten back.

His presence was startling and imposing and you nearly dropped the papers you were holding.

“S-Steve?” You hated that you stuttered, but he’d caught you so off guard that you apparently couldn’t even use your mouth properly.

“We need to talk.” His voice was deep, and as attractive as it always was, his gaze heavy on your face, never faltering. There was a lingering anger there, though, that rooted your feet to the ground, despite the week that had passed. Plenty of time, you thought, to get his anger in check before he came to find you. That’s what you’d hoped, anyway. But no such luck.

You swallowed thickly, voice still coming out far meeker than you had heard yourself speak in a long time. “About what?”

Steve let out a derisive scoff, rolling his eyes and moving his gaze away from you briefly. “Don’t play dumb with me, Y/N.”

This made an angry fire burn inexplicably in your stomach, your fight-or-flight kicking in, facial expression suddenly switching from timid to furious in seemingly no time at all.

“I fail to see what I did wrong, captain, so please do enlighten me.”

Steve surged forward, then, one hand like a vice on our shoulder pushing you into a nearby wall, and you let out a soft grunt, shoulder blade throbbing from the force of it. He came up close to you, hand never leaving your shoulder, preventing you from escaping. If you weren’t so angry, you might have taken the time to appreciate how good he smelled, how the light smattering of facial hair across his jaw from a few days gone without shaving somehow made him look even more handsome, or just how pretty his eyes were. But, as it was, you were too angry for that. At the very least, too angry to spend more than a few nanoseconds appreciating it.

You met his still-had gaze and scoffed incredulously, “what the fuck, Steve?”

His nostrils flared, pressing you into the wall further, and you swallowed a gasp at the dull pain still radiating through your shoulder. “Don’t you talk to me like that.” His voice was low and quiet and somehow that intimidated you far more than if he had shouted. “I am your captain. You listen to my orders, and you follow them, without question. What was so hard about that to understand? What gave you the right to disobey me on a mission?”

The silence that followed was tense, uncomfortable. You swallowed the lump that had formed in your throat. You knew you were wrong to go against him. You knew, and yet you did it anyway, and you still weren’t sure why. But regardless of that, Steve’s anger towards you seemed wholly unnecessary.

This was not the Steve Rogers you had read about, heard stories about. The Steve Rogers who runs into burning buildings and jumps out of planes without a second thought. No, this Steve Rogers was harsh, unforgiving.

And, despite the heroics, you did not like him at all.

“You’ve been cold and dismissive towards me ever since I arrived here.” You hoped he wouldn’t acknowledge your sudden change of subject. “Why? What did I ever do to deserve that treatment?” It took a great deal of focus to make your voice not sound pitiful.

“I don’t like your attitude.”

“What the hell’s that supposed to mean? You don’t even know me.”

“I know enough about you to know that you are not the kind of person I want to be around.”

Your voice rose, each word enunciated, “you don’t know me.”

“I hate you.” His sudden burst of anger, words like venom, so uncharacteristic, startled you, freezing you in position. “I hated you before I even met you. You’re selfish and arrogant and you don’t deserve to be on this team.”

You involuntarily took in a breath, face going slack and shoulders straightening a little, the anger in your eyes swiftly replaced by a look of hurt so deep that Steve had to take a step back, chest heaving slightly from his anger. His own eyes reflected immediate guilt, clearly not having meant to say that to you. But there it was. And you couldn’t ignore the way your heart shattered before you.

The hurt suddenly reverted back to anger when you saw the soft, remorseful look on Steve’s face. How dare he be upset about this. He wasn’t the one whose heart had just been ripped out and trampled on by the one person he admired most in the world. He had no right to be sad when he was the one who had been practically ignoring your presence for months, who had once inspired you so wholly before tearing that inspiration all to shreds.

Your face hardened, the tears welling in your eyes threatening to surge forward at the new wave of anger that filled your entire body. You took a deep breath before squaring up to him, his wide frame somehow appearing to shrink in on itself a little under your gaze.

He took a breath and sighed, glancing away for a second before meeting your gaze again. “You won’t be going on any missions for a while.” His voice was quieter now, resigned, the anger from earlier gone, but clearly not forgotten. “Not until I know I can trust you.”

Like the flick of a switch, rage roared through you again. “You’re benching me? Are you fucking kidding me right now?”

“You’ve left me with no choice,” tone firm, resolute. Laced with misplaced authority.

You scoffed, rolling your eyes, stepping away from the wall, coming in close to Steve, features hard, jaw tensed. “Fine. Bench me, whatever. But maybe you should take a good look at yourself, Rogers. Do you expect me to believe you got this far in life by always following orders and thinking every decision through before you acted?” His lips parted, a silent intake of breath. You knew you’d hit on something he hadn’t thought of.

Before he could reply, you slipped past him and out the door, barely refraining from sprinting all the way back to your room, finally allowing the tears to fall freely.

---

‘Benching’ didn’t last long.

Not even a week in, they discovered an active HYDRA base. A previous intel mission told them it was far bigger, far more dangerous than any the team had encountered before. They would need everyone. And, much to Steve’s annoyance, that included you.

He felt bad for what he said. Of course he did, he never meant to hurt you like that. He’d had several arguments with himself about it in the last few days, and as much as his conscience told him he needed to apologise, the rational, leadership-orientated part of him always brought him back round to the same point; he couldn’t trust you.

And yet, there you were, sat across from him and to the right, on the Quinjet headed for god knows where, deep in conversation with Sam, refusing to even glance in Steve’s direction. For some reason, he hated that you wouldn’t even look at him. He resolved to talk to you properly once the mission was over. He’d apologise, get you back on the team. He’d at least try to make amends. Maybe you would forgive him one day.

---

Fighting. You’re fighting and fighting and fighting and it seems never-ending, but you know it must end somewhere. An end to the fighting is pretty much the only thing getting you through at this point.

You’re moving fast, agile, and you’re silently thankful for all the extra training you did with Natasha.

You hold your own, dodging and throwing punches and kicks and the way you move with your knives is like something out of a dance.

Before long, the last agent is taken down, and once the facility has been sweeped, the team regroups, a little battered and bruised and worse for wear, but alive.

Steve’s about to run through the next plan of action when, out of the corner of your eye, you spot movement.

A HYDRA agent rounds the corner, limping, blood pouring from a gash on his forehead, his gun pointed directly at Steve. Time seems to both slow down and speed up as you surge forward, not even giving your brain a chance to think, Steve’s name falling from your lips in a panicked shout.

You shove him out of the way, though his solid stature means you only move him a couple of feet, before pain erupts in your side, the worst you’ve ever felt.

The sound of blood rushing through your ears makes your teammates’ shouts of your name muffled and distant, and you let out a choked gasp as you collapse onto the cold tiled floor, blood running thick and warm over your fingers where they press against your side.

Your vision blurs, though you can just make out Steve’s face leaning above you, eyebrow creased, eyes panicked and wilder than you had ever seen them. You wonder, briefly, why he’s suddenly so worried about you, but that thought is quickly replaced by regret. There were so many things you wish you could have done differently.

Muffled shouts fill your ears, and you’re not entirely sure whether they’re talking to you or not, but you can still see Steve’s face and an inexplicable longing fills your chest. Longing for what, you don’t know, but you find you don’t have the energy to find the answer.

There are hands all over you, though it’s unclear who they belong to. Someone removes your hand from your side, replaced by another, the added pressure making you gasp out in pain. You feel cool air against your abdomen, though it doesn’t seem to last for long. Someone is stroking your hair, their touch gentle, loving, and despite the commotion happening around you, it calms your racing heart.

Your eyes becoming heavier, you manage a hoarse whisper, “I’m sorry, Steve.”

You’re aware of strong arms wrapping around you, lifting with ease. Whispers of you’re gonna be okay and stay with me. The press of something soft and warm on the side of your head.

And then darkness.

#sherrys fall into you challenge #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers/reader #steve rogers/you #steve rogers #captain america #mcu #marvel #marvel cinematic universe #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers fanfic #captain america fanfic #captain america fanfiction #marvel fanfiction #marvel fanfic #beth writes #my fic

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theseerasures · 5 years ago

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Frozen 2 Reaction Post

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this is 5000% because i don’t wanna do other stuff, but is it not poetic justice that i should come back to the tumbls for Frozen 2: Elsa Runs Away Some More

i’m gonna prologue this by saying that by and large i enjoyed the film tremendously; of course since this is 2019 i would have enjoyed anything that didn’t end with Elsa committing nonsensical war crimes before being put down like Old Yeller or pulling a no-homo to transcend time and space (that’s right, i’m hip enough to know about TWO of the biggest media fiascos this year, you jelly?), but the film was enjoyable even beyond that, mostly in how it affirmed my own opinions about the universe

HOWEVER, there were also huge problems that really have to be addressed, and we’re gonna start with those

cut for length and a truly immense amount of spoilers

things i didn’t like:

so the Iduna being Sami All Along thing was, um. bad! it was bad, and really reads like the team trying to cover their asses after the blowback from the first movie. why was it such a big deal for ~a Northuldran to love an Arendellian~ when Arendelle was 100% at fault in the conflict? were the spirits just like “oh the indigenous tribe that has cared for us and lived alongside us for centuries are fine i guess but OH LOOK the whitest among them just made googly eyes at the son of the guy who wants to colonize and enslave us, let’s root for those crazy kids and make their firstborn the avatar”

making Iduna a White Sami and leaning on the excuse that in real life the Sami people are linguistic and ethnically diverse and some of them can pass as white would have been fine if they didn’t EXPLICITLY RACIALIZE EVERY OTHER TRIBE MEMBER ON SCREEN. come on guys, just admit you liked Last Samurai but knew that that exact premise wouldn’t fly anymore

why couldn’t it be just a nice person who saved Agnar? why did we get yet another version of the old Pocahontas fetish?

why did Iduna being Northuldran REMAIN such a big deal to the point that she never told her kids about it and she and Agnar had to tell separate but equal bedtime stories about the same event??

whew i’m so glad this all happened so Elsa, the whitest non-anthropomorphic-snowman character in the movie, could save those savage natives with spears! They Needed Her Guidance

the songs this time mostly...felt like they didn’t really want this movie to be a musical but were contractually obligated to write songs for Disney until the heat death of the universe

case in point: Some Things Never Change was going for the Happily Ever After vibe that the Steven Universe movie had, but it...didn’t really feel earned. we obviously needed a place-setter song, but it didn’t really establish anything about what the characters have been up to or what might be still bothering them, because apparently everything is great! this worked for Steven Universe because it came off of five SEASONS of character development, but Elsa’s last big character revelation that we the audience saw was “wow guess i’m not the worst scum on earth after all.” the timeskip can only do so much, is what i’m saying

Kristoff got NOTHING to work with. i’m not like, horribly broken up about it since i know they had to keep it tight for the kids, but fucking OLAF got a heavier arc than he did, and it feels like a missed opportunity that they didn’t link HIS backstory to the Northuldrans, what with him being orphaned/abandoned/raised by trolls already set up. it doesn’t have to siphon into the White Savior main story at all, just have--i dunno, a few more scenes with the Northuldrans and him realizing that he’s probably descended from refugees who got cut off from the forest

the proposal thing was cute until i realized that they were going to just hit the same beats over and over again with each scene. it should have been resolved in act 1 instead of Kristoff disappearing for half the movie and then tacking on the proposal at the very end. not every subplot has to be stretched out to the end! in this case i feel like stretching it out actually REGRESSED aspects of Kristanna, since it relied on Anna misreading so many signals that it strained believability even for Anna. we’re supposed to think they’ve NEVER talked about this, despite having dated for 3 years and consistently trading off on being the most Extra person in the room?

the confirmation that Olaf’s fingers can wiggle will haunt my dreams

me when the stone giants interrupted Elsa’s conversation with Honeymaren: yOU COCKBLOCKERS

i find myself growing increasingly weary of the now token Disney Wink at Camera, and Elsa rolling her eyes and her past self doing Let It Go was probably the apex of that particular antipathy. showing that you’re so Over the song that made you billions in a movie that you’re shilling to the EXACT SAME CROWD is the most obnoxious humble-flex i can think of

as much as i liked Elsa jumping into the Pit of Past Misdeeds and freezing to death, i think the scene happened waaaaaayyyy too fast, especially if you compare it to how long it took for Anna in the first movie. she’s not really given any time to process what’s happening, and it kind of lessens the emotional impact.

Olaf is gone!! he’s gone, i miss him so much!! i cry myself to sleep!!!! OLAFFFFFFF!!! false. i do not miss him

i distinctly recall liking Olaf just fine in the first movie and actually found him tolerable here too, but wow i was not happy when they resurrected him, even though i knew it was a sure thing

maybe it’s because NOTHING had consequences in the end and even Arendelle, the place that all the characters have been treating like a thoroughfare for two movies, had to get saved at the last second!! Arendelle the place??? we were supposed to care enough about that to want it to be saved?? it’s not the fucking GALACTICA guys! there weren’t even any people left in the town! it’s bizarre that they tried to go so hard in the reparations route and then swerved at the last second. let Arendelle drown you cowards! let the Northuldrans offer help in solidarity if you really wanted the “bridge between worlds” angle, but come the fuck on! didn’t something like this happen with Life Is Strange already?

why didn’t Elsa go to her sister’s coronation is it just like a thing now for her to miss the major life events of her family members

the statues they unveiled at the end were horrifying

things i liked:

a lowkey thing that i’ve always appreciated about the first movie was its willingness to Go There when it came to depicting well intentioned parents who are still mired in various character flaws and wound their kids deeply, so it was nice to see that return and get expanded with parents who had Lives separate from their kids which made them That Way, and the consequences of those Lives often come back to influence subsequent generations no matter how much they try to keep it contained. it’s a good, logical extension from what happened with Elsa in the first movie.

and it’s another Steven Universe vibe, but they can go further with it faster because Elsa and Anna are the hegemony in this movie. they’re the history-makers, so their family drama very easily becomes political, and the lessons they pick up from family memories immediately end up changing the fantasy history landscape. it’s dope

baby Anna’s lil feetsies

Anna wanted to marry everyone and Elsa thought kissing was gross

everyone does feel palpably older! the first movie had a very teen feel insofar as everything was We Have to Do This or We Will All Die Immediately, but this time around all the characters feel much more comfortable in their own skin throughout the movie

everyone getting more than two outfits and all wearing pants

the revelation after so many headcanons of Elsa being a ruthless pragmatist, Elsa always being two steps ahead politically, Elsa being a literal and metaphorical chessmaster that Elsa is...actually just kind of spacey and weird was for me extremely welcome. i think part of this was done in service of Anna becoming queen at the end, but it makes sense. “attack it with ice powers” and “run away” are still pretty much the only two strings to Elsa’s bow. this is not to say that she was a bad queen, or that she didn’t try her damndest to be a fair and just ruler--when it comes down to it i think Elsa still knows more Facts about how to rule a kingdom than Anna ever will, it’s just that she’s also horribly averse to conflict and “pacing in place while blaming herself” is pretty much the extent of her productivity under serious pressure.

what sets Elsa apart (other than the ice powers) isn’t that she’s prodigiously talented, but that she’s kindhearted and extremely sensitive to the emotions and fates of others. (she’s the one who asks what happened to the spirits when Agnar is done with his half of the story.) she agonized over hurting Anna one way vs. hurting Anna another way for THIRTEEN YEARS and still couldn’t make up her mind until she was literally backed into a corner, and even that decision was “run away but FARTHER.” Anna wanting to reconcile with Elsa even after thirteen years wasn’t just because Anna’s love eclipses all; Elsa also left that door open for her, because she could never be quite as ruthless or even SELFLESS as to send her sister away for good. (”then leave! actually jk i’ll leave instead”)

but Anna wasn’t ever the exception for Elsa, either. Anna wasn’t the only corner of Elsa’s heart that she left open--Elsa’s like that with EVERYONE, even people she just met, or disembodied voices in the wild. Elsa can never do quite as many Right Things as she thinks she should, she can never be quite as driven, as strong, as single-minded as she thinks she needs to be, to fully commit to making decisions for other people. she feels too deeply and wants too much, even after all those years of trying to scour herself out with a lathe. it’s what ruins and saves her.

Anna and Elsa being horrible at charades in diametrically opposite ways was the most life affirming thing to happen to me this year

Elsa couldn’t act out ice

the two of them had MULTIPLE conversations with each other that didn’t immediately result in mortal peril!!! what a world guys

Into the Unknown fucking slaps but i’m now REALLY confused about the diegesis of the songs in this movie. i’d assumed they were all happening in story, what with the Voice and the multiple references to Let It Go, but Elsa literally bays at the moon in the middle of the night here and no one woke up??? maybe they’re all just really heavy sleepers who knows

or maybe the staff just take it in stride at this point--oh, Her Majesty is singing and crying again

Kristoff and Anna CANONICALLY FUCK, and not even in the typical cartoon “look they have kids, they canonically fuck” way in the “hey my sister and her snowchild that we’re all coparenting together are asleep on the sled, shall we fuck a mere three feet away without even putting up a divider or something” way

gotta give Jen Lee kudos for making the “Elsa has ice powers because she’s the fifth spirit” retcon make thematic sense. the most obvious way to go about this WOULD have been the avatar direction, but Elsa isn’t the union of the four elements but the union of the spirits and humanity, which is to say that she witnesses them and keeps their memories, bringing them to life and solidifying them with her powers. she’s obviously the best person for the job, since y’know. she spent thirteen years on one memory alone.

wait does this mean Elsa is basically the Resurrection Stone?? buhhhh i don’t wanna think about it

of course Anna’s sword just came from her grabbing it from an ice statue i don’t know what else i expected

i laughed at both of Olaf’s reenactments i don’t know what to tell you

i feel...Some Kinda Way about the discourse saying that Mattias being black is problematic because it suggests black collusion in indigenous genocide, but it’s not my place to comment on that, so i’ll just say that it was a pleasure to see Sterling K. Brown having fun in a role instead of his usual gravitas and misery

Elsa first making eye contact with the icemander, or Two Feral Creatures Recognize Each Other As Such--i can’t believe i thought Hiccup would be the weirdest horse girl i’d ever encounter in fiction when it’s OBVIOUSLY Elsa

ELSA COULDN’T ACT OUT ICE

what a novel concept to have Elsa charging forward while Anna tries to pull her back, telling her to slow down, that she’s climbing too high

appreciated the subtle seeding they did of Anna’s political savvy, what with her actually talking to the lost Arendellian soldiers and restraining herself from making outlandish promises to everyone she meets

Kristoff made a friend!

Elsa met one (1) girl that wasn’t her sister and immediately decided she had to live in the woods forever

Tribe Leader Lady’s reaction to Kristoff’s proposal

can’t believe Lost in the Woods invented cinema and music videos

the sisters at the shipwreck is hands down the best scene in the entire movie, aided by the drastically different palette they used to color this scene--all grays, browns, and blacks, even the surrounding environment, like Agnar and Iduna’s despair polluted the whole landscape. Elsa and Anna look horribly out of place here, like they can’t possibly be real in a world that looks like this.

it really snuck up on me how much this scene is a pivot for both of their characters: Anna’s instinct here is to look forward, to find clues that will point them to the next step; Elsa’s instinct is toward grief and, after the reveal, self-blame. for all her growth there’s still a part of Elsa that sees her existence as the catastrophe that keeps hurling the wreckage of the world at her feet. it’s something that i don’t think she’ll ever be able to completely move past.

Elsa, looking at Anna like she’s the only real thing in the world as Anna tells her that she believes in her, more than anyone or anything

“i just don’t want you dying trying to be everything for everyone else!” jesus fucking CHRIST guys

Olaf’s growing up crisis was mostly just...kinda there for me, but i will say the cut to his horrified expression when Anna said the word “dying” really did get to me

Anna switching between a Formal Court hairstyle and an Athleisure hairstyle is Bi Representation, Elsa getting increasingly more disheveled over two movies is Lesbian Representation

do i Get horse movies now

Elsa happy crying when she sees her mother in the cave made ME incredibly happy--her face is so much more dynamic this time around!

i wanna make fun of her for her stupid Dance Dance Revolution ice magic during Show Yourself but honestly..........fucking superb you funky little lesbian

aw Elsa you stood up to...an ice hallucination of your racist grandpa! in another three years (six years in production) you might be ready for Thanksgiving dinner

Elsa in the last movie: i’m never going back, the past is in the past!!!!

Elsa in this movie: brb gotta go hurl myself into a Pit of Past Misdeeds and turn myself into one of the embodied memories

Anna immediately understanding what went down at the forest before and that even if she wasn’t directly complicit in the violence she benefits from it every day, deciding to rip down Imperialism Dam without hesitation

The Next Right Thing didn’t really do it for me musically but as a core concept for Anna’s character and ethos it fucking ROCKS (pun obviously intended). i was so worried going in that they wouldn’t know what to do with Anna after the first movie other than give her powers, but instead we got confirmation that this IS her superpower: her ability to forge ahead with whatever life has given her has ALWAYS been her greatest strength.

this also explains why she felt so aimless and intent on protecting Elsa and nothing else before this point; Anna isn’t interested in delving deeply into the past, not when every other member of her family was consumed by it. with this she’s finally able to convert memory into action, and she shines.

(of course she couldn’t have GOTTEN to this point if Elsa hadn’t been so convinced that the past was worth pursuing, confirming my belief that the two of them share exactly one brain cell)

OBVIOUSLY action for Anna translates into “make myself bait for stone giants and STAND ON THE VERY DAM I WANT THEM TO RIP APART” Anna you fucking walnut

Anna threw the first brick at Imperialism Dam, actually

the understated moment when Kristoff just pushes aside his own insecurities and just asks Anna what she needs

the shot of Elsa falling into the water after she’s thawed nearly did me in

Elsa horseback riding over the water is. wow it’s the gayest thing i’ve ever seen

Anna’s coronation outfit made me kinda wistful. she looks so grown up! she looks like her mother

(i mean she always looks like her mother they literally have the same face but whatever you know what i mean)

me on my deathbed: eLSA COuldN’T aCT oUt ICE

stray observations:

is Arendelle just a tourist town where one day the guy who owned the largest house was like “this is a KINGDOM NOW I’M THE KING” and the 50 other townies who lived there were just too polite to argue

i mean it’d explain why the queen, her heir, and the heir’s consort could just waltz out of there for a week long trip and leAVE THE TROLLS IN CHARGE

when they first started getting chummy with the Northuldrans i lost my god damn mind and was like “are they gonna give Kristoff a boyfriend and Anna a girlfriend what’s happening”

is it required that female Disney protagonists have to go to a blue tinted place to realize that the magic answer was in them all along now the same exact thing happened to Moana and Rey

Elsa’s ice creations are confirmed to fade away if she dies, which...is a confirmation we needed i guess

why didn’t Mattias and Yelana fall in love to make the Chosen One instead, they had chemistry

(i mean. i know why)

i hope Anna got to yell at Elsa for at least five minutes and maybe slug her for pulling that “i’m going to Mordor alone!!!” bullshit

for a second at the end i was like “are they gonna do the HTTYD thing where we flash forward to ten years later and Anna and Kristoff take their kids to visit Elsa IS KRISTOFF GONNA GROW A DAD BEARD” but no we just had lesbian wind and origami instead

whatever your take on the movie i think we can all agree that the scene where Olaf calls the Irish “a plague on this planet which is slowly rotting it down to the rind and which must be excised” was NOT okay

#'wow i wonder how many words this post is--actually maybe i don't wanna know'#frozen 2 #disney #helen writes meta

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revisitingstoneybrook · 4 years ago

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#8 Boy-Crazy Stacey: Chapter 11

Stacey throws herself a pity party, Mary Anne’s not amused and Byron Pike is a magical child who fixes everything.

Now we have a postcard from Mary Anne to Dawn. And she spends most of it venting about Stacey. She tells Dawn that Stacey's still being a pain in the neck but she kind of feels bad for her, because she saw Scott kissing another girl. And Mary Anne's getting in touch with her wild side I guess, because she's thinking of buying another bikini from this store called If the Suit Fits, which is where Stacey got her's. Richard won't mind because he'll still be zonked out from the pot party to end all pot parties Sharon's throwing while the kids are gone.

After signing the postcard, Mary Anne throws in a PS and a PPS. The PS tells Dawn that *gasp* Stacey's been dying her hair! Bad girl! The PPS instructs Dawn to "Destroy this card in California!" Which looks incredibly funny, considering it's something so crazy to write and it's in Mary Anne's loopy script. And I don't think Dawn would take too kindly to destroying a card made out of paper, Mary Anne. That's spitting on the grave of the tree killed to make that postcard! She should have said "Recycle this card in California!" or "Burn this card, then scatter the ashes in the ocean in California!" At least that way, it won't rot away in a landfill somewhere.

Anyway, the morning after Stacey sees Scott kissing a girl who's more beautiful and has better boobs than she does, she's all mopey and sad and decides she can't show her face at the beach. After breakfast, she fakes a headache and tells Dee she doesn't want to go. Miraculously, the Pike parents are actually going with the Pike Army to the beach for like the third time since arriving in Sea City. I guess they remembered this is supposed to be a family vacation. At least this means Mary Anne won't be stuck watching the kids all by herself. Dee, completely oblivious to the drama happening between the girls, tells Stacey that's fine.

Mary Anne, on the other hand, is not too happy. While they're in their room later, she finally grows a spine (for the first time in this book) and confronts Stacey, instead of brooding about it or venting to Kristy or Dawn in a postcard. Mary Anne calls Stacey out and tells her she can see right through her bullshit:

“Thanks for sticking me with all the kids again. You know, last night you dragged me around to about a billion stores looking for a present for Scott. Then when you saw him with that girl, you practically blamed ME. You are so rude. The least you could do is apologize.”

Wow, Mary Anne! You get a gold star!

And some applause!

Stacey offers up a feeble apology, but Mary Anne isn't done yet, bitch! “If you actually had a headache, well, that would be one thing, but it's Scott isn't it?” Mary Anne shakes her head when Stacey admits that it is indeed Scott and now it's Stacey's turn to be mad. She apologized, dammit! Isn't that enough for Mary Anne? Geez! Stacey doesn't get why Mary Anne is still pissed off and reminds her that the boy mother's helper will probably be around, so she'll have help anyway.

But Stacey? He's got his own kids to watch, it isn't HIS job to help Mary Anne, he's just doing something nice because he sees she's got her hands full with eight kids. You're the one getting paid to do that and for the entire trip, you've blown off your responsibilities to go flirt with a lifeguard and feed him with the Pikes' food and sodas, leaving Mary Anne to cover for your ass. Mary Anne has every right to be mad at you.

Mary Anne informs Stacey his name is Alex, and Stacey responds by saying he looks like such a nerd. Did I mention Stacey is a BITCH in this book? She hasn't even met him! Mary Anne says he isn't a nerd, he's funny and nice, and as far as I'm concerned, he's a saint for constantly helping her out when Stacey abandons her. Before Mary Anne can start to chew her out again, Stacey asks, "Who are those kids, anyway?"

Mary Anne says their names are Kenny, Jimmy, and Ellie, and Alex is indeed a mother's helper and DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT STACEY! Stacey plays dumb about it and Mary Anne is about ready to do this now:

Once again, Mary Anne informs Stacey that she's made her do all the work so far and Stacey, being so high on herself, denies it. With that, Mary Anne storms downstairs and Stacey chases after her, still apologizing. You're still too little and too late, Stacey! Mary Anne awesomely ignores Stacey and tells the Pike kids to follow her, as their parents beat them to the beach. Yeah, I'm sure they got an early start to make some bacon on the beach and I don’t mean the kind Homer is thinking about:

youtube

So yeah, Stacey stays at home and as the kids are leaving, Byron decides he wants to stay at home too, saying he wants to rest. Maybe it's all the eating he apparently does that's making him so tired! Stacey has him go tell Mary Anne and when he returns, he asks if they can go for a walk. Stacey says yes, then remembering she's supposed to have a "headache," says they should go somewhere quiet. Nice save. She leaves a note for everyone else and follows Byron.

They end up on the bay side of Sea City, where the water is much calmer. And Byron goes right in the water. Turns out he was just afraid of the big waves. See, girls? He wasn't afraid of swimming, just the ocean. Byron probably noticed they were freaking out over him not swimming, so he took Stacey over here to shut her up. I'm sure he wouldn't want all the BSC members discussing him in minute detail at their next meeting.

Stacey encourages him to go out further in the water and tells him it's ok to be afraid of things a little. Because if you aren't afraid, you might take dangerous chances. But if you're TOO afraid, then you'll probably miss out on a lot of fun.

Byron and the calm water in the bay ends up calming Stacey down to the point where she decides she can go to the beach, she just has to avoid Scott. And I guess Byron is some kind of magical child because Stacey does a lot of thinking and realizes she was wrong the whole time about Scott and Mary Anne was right. He didn't LUV her, he just thought of her as a friend (*cracks up* Yeah, keep deluding yourself, McGill). And he really was too old for her. Stacey feels like an idiot for thinking her LUVed her, when they never kissed, or held hands, or went out on a date. But she decides she doesn't hate him, because he was nice to her and they "had fun.” Fetching him sodas and listening to him call you Princess is having fun? Um, ok. And he gave her his whistle!

She's still upset that Scott's probably already forgotten about her and wouldn't care if she avoided him because the next girl in line will just step up. I don't get it...is she happy she's had this epiphany or is she upset that he was a douchebag who led her on? Or both?

After lunch, Byron says he's ready to go to the beach, so Stacey brings him. And since the BSC loves comparing themselves and their issues to the ones their clients are having, Stacey says they're both scared but determined. As they arrive, the lifeguards switch shifts and Scott's part of the group that's leaving. Whew. Ok, and now Stacey says she doesn't know whether to be happy or upset.

Byron immediately goes into the (knee-deep) water with Adam and Jordan and I guess that's good enough for them. Stacey sees them and reflects on how much she's missed the kids too, since she had been spending all her time hanging around Scott. Spoken like a true BSC member. All her revelations are just coming one after the other here! Coming one after the other...I'm sure the Pikes are familiar with that, if you know what I mean.

#babysitters club #boy-crazy stacey #stacey mcgill #bsc #snark

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thefemalecampaign-blog · 7 years ago

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Meet A Young Visionary. #GirlBoss

Meet a Young Visionary: We had the opportunity of interviewing a young bright, talented soul by the name of Kaylan Jefferson. Many of you may also know her as “The Visionary Boss.” She’s currently taking the world by storm with her blog platform that showcases her style, writing, other influential women, but she’s also launched her own organization at the age of nineteen. Whew! Now that she has inspired us, we hope that you become inspired too.

Now for starters, she’s very confident with who she is and what she does. When we asked her about herself, some of her goals, and basically her influences this is what she had to say:

“I like the refer to myself as the one & only muse. I use the rhythm of my conversation and words to create intimate, vulnerable think pieces, to witty narratives and self-improvement, and candid, groundbreaking content. I’m newly nineteen years old and it feels wonderful. I have always been a huge life enthusiast. Funny, I’m somewhat of an introvert, but I have a fondness for communication and networking. When I was younger my passions ranged from wanting to being an author, a fashion designer, to a cinematographer. Nonetheless, in one sense or another, I wanted to be a boss. A CEO! Hence my blog and platform: The Visionary Boss. I was born up north, but have lived in Tampa for pretty much all of my life. As far as influential women in my life, I would definitely pay homage to my mother: a queen, a beautiful soul and a great confidant, all in one. My mom has always supported me and been someone I look up to, entrepreneurial wise and more. She has this eclectic, earthy, warm approach to everything she does. Her seamless nature almost seems effortless, at times. That’s the kind of boss I want to be—I want to execute my passions and moves in a natural, fitting way.”

Not only has Kaylan been an influencer herself, she has also been influenced by someone very close to her to start her on business venture. When we asked Kaylan about who influenced her to start her own business, she said:

“My mother has influenced me to start my own business, because she was an entrepreneur and a self-made business woman at the age of nineteen. I am gracefully following her lead. Being a business owner is humbling, because I'm constantly challenging myself. Everyday, I am trying different methods to reach an audience. At the moment, I am selling sophisticated, sleek sunglasses. For $5 you can either get a cup of coffee, or a beautifully crafted pair of sunnies from an independent, black-owned business. I started the Visionary Boss Shop when I was a senior in high school. I remember investing my money into the project, getting a great model to showcase the shades, and taking the photos for them. I was told that my idea was 'small' and 'good-luck growing my little business,' by an individual at the time. Now, I just smile, because I'm genuinely happy that I got the experience of creating and developing my own merchandise. No one can take that away from me. I do not wear it on my sleeve, but I am proud to call myself an entrepreneur.”

Your brand has to be very unique and the name has to along with some type of message. We thought that “The Visionary Boss” was very unique and wanted to figure out what the meaning was behind it:

“The Visionary Boss is not an alter ego or alias. It is merely my reality. Being a Visionary Boss is dreaming, envisioning and creating an aesthetic of your own while making waves. I am creating visuals, literature and content with simplistic, realistic concepts and story lines that have life-changing tendencies and perspectives. Rewind to my sophomore year of high school. Second semester. During this time in my life, I was in the process of preparing for a pageant. I made it through the auditions, initial interviews, the practices, panels of judges before the show, the photo-shoots and finally the dress rehearsals. The morning of the pageant, we had rehearsal and the host and main coordinator of the show gave all the girls the run-down of the live show and some questions we'd have the answer, after the 'runway' portion of the show. "Describe yourself in one word." That's what he told us. From that moment on, 'visionary' just was ingrained to me. I'm an introspective, deep thinker. I reminisce while dreaming of the future to create a present. It is always my season.”

Being a female entrepreneur has become more common in today’s age. One thing that can detour a lot of people away is how to start and where to start. Getting your idea from pen and paper to reality can be hard, but it’s not impossible. Our young visionary had a few words for our young, upcoming entrepreneurs:

“My advice for aspiring, young entrepreneurs is to plan accordingly and to be realistic. A blog, a business or any passion project does not happen overnight—but it does require late nights. Being strategic and thinking ahead is my best advice. Also, less is more. You do not need to tackle a million different avenues to be seen as a worthy entrepreneur. Minimalism is a beautiful thing. Have a clean-cut office setting to do your work, be organized and ahhhhhh, take a deep breath. I’m all for being on my grind, but if something is effecting my mental state, then I will take a break. This summer, I’m balancing my summer pre-med classes, my full-time marketing coordinating job, and the glorious thing I call my blog: The Visionary Boss. 24 hours is not enough. Like Ginuwine said, ‘Give me 24, give me 24.’ So, basically, I never try to overwork myself. I can simply just get up the next morning and get as much as I can do, possible. Real bosses get sleep, haha.

You asked what problems I’ve faced as a young, black entrepreneur. For starters, being a young, black entrepreneur is a market and network of its own. Personally, I have not had any huge, underlying issues or obstacles. If anything, I think being a young black woman influencer, entrepreneur and blogger has helped me. But, universally speaking, I do think there is too much of a ‘I’m a bigger boss’ elitist competition between young black professionals, bloggers, etc. The world—at least the independent black marketing and network world would be a lot more vibrant, if people built together. Too many times I scroll down my Insta feed and see young black fashion designers, models, bloggers, influencers and business owners who have this super elitist complex and promote the fact that they have haters and copiers. Yawn! Not everything has to be this elaborate, over the top competition. Just put your heart and soul into your work, be confident in that and network with others.”

Passion is the one thing that seems to drive any and every one when it comes to their dreams. Kaylan was able to tell us her passions and how she figured out what her passions were at a young age:

“My number one passion in life is to evoke a feeling of warmth, inspiration and revelation. I have a passion for aesthetics, literature, film, the universe, the cosmos, the ocean, the mind and body. I organically figured out my passions when I was fifteen. It was on a Summer night that I call one of my many 'nostalgic nights.' It is the intuition you get about life on a hot summer night or intimate fall evening. It is the reflection along with a dream. I want to create eminent, eclectic masterpieces with ancient allusions, aspects from traditional literature and atmospheric, relevant vibes. And, I want to write. And be a CEO. These are my passions, that may be larger-than-life to some, but heaven sent to me.”

We live in a society that has powerful women making their marks in every industry. These women to say the least, influence majority of us in many ways to pursue our own dreams. Our fellow young boss had a few influential women in mind:

“There are so many bold, unapologetic women powerhouses. From Ava Duvernay, to Debbie Allen, Oprah Winfrey, Issa Rae, to Solange and Beyonce Knowles. Those are women bosses, right there. All of these women are creators, producers and game-changers when it comes to filmmaking, entertainment and creating vivid concepts. I am an aspiring cinematographer and I have filmed, produced, edited and created mini documentaries, short visuals and look-books. In high school, I spent a lot of time dissecting behind-the-scenes and production for music videos, critically-acclaimed movies and even concerts. I wanted to be the modern-day female Spike Lee. But, in all honesty I thank the women mentioned above for inspiring me.”

There’s always speculation about what the future may hold for many, but Kaylan seems to continue to have the bright spirit and drive to succeed and tap into way more in the future:

“I’m going to have a lot of fun with this answer, because I have a dozen vision boards in the back of my head. Ten years from now I will be twenty-nine years old. I will have my pharmacy degree, (cheers to that), and continue to be the CEO of The Visionary Boss. Honestly, I have always envisioned myself living a simplistic, yet larger-than-life life. By 29, I will be married to my equivalent, and he will most likely have a growing business—and we’ll be partners for a business that is something organic or natural, or dealing with fitness. Maybe all three. I would have successfully spent my twenties, traveling, networking, branding and taking lots of photos, capturing the warm, exciting moments. But honestly, in ten years I want my platform to turn into a brand, and I want to promote my lifestyle to others and be a great CEO.”

Being a young, black entrepreneur can have its cons but it for sure has its pro’s. Kaylan, who is a young, black entrepreneur herself feels the complete opposite of what most may think about being a black female entrepreneur:

“It feels limitless. The only thing stopping young, black entrepreneurs is believing you have to follow a specific formula. And trying to separate thyself from older, original influencers to seem 'different.' There is nothing wrong with being influenced!”

As a entrepreneur, your number one goal should be making an impact or mark on the world instead of sitting around not trying to make change. Honestly, that’s what being an entrepreneur is about… making change. When Kaylan was asked about how she plans to make an even bigger impact on the world, this is what she had to say:

“Recently, I started and launched an organization for Top-Shelf, ambitious, creative, well-rounded, vibrant young women + boss babes in Tampa who want to network and give back. This organization and sisterhood is called MUSE—because I, The Visionary Boss surrounds and supports herself around other goddesses who are creative influencers. Through this organization, I want to show representation to young WOC and create a refreshing networking environment for like-minded aspiring bosses.”

We want to thank Kaylan for wanting to be apart of our campaign and being such a boss she is. We hope she has many more successes in the future!

Her social media handles:

IG- @thevisionaryboss

Youtube- Cake and Kat

Twitter-@visionary_boss

#girlboss #blackwomen #entrepreneur #blogger #writer #artist

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shima-draws · 8 years ago

Note

I need the good DiodeShipping fluff,, (for the drabble thing)

Send me a pairing or a fandom and I’ll write a little drabble for it!

Youuu got it! This actually ended up being a little more angsty than fluffy, I’m really sorry //shot

Also I overdid it again and went way past my original limit (not surprising knowing me) so yeah this drabble is like 1.1k words but whatever. More words=more Diode ;D

I hope you enjoy it!

The air is frigid and chilling, soothing the ache that has been burning up inside Clemont’s heart for the past few days. He sits, almost half-buried in the snow, lost in deep thought.

He appears to be unbothered by the freezing atmosphere and the snow that settles on his eyelashes which melt away after a few moments. The sky is clear despite the light downfall of snowflakes, the sun shining up over the horizon as it rises. It’s a little too early for him to be awake, but he felt restless and the need to escape from reality for a little while nagged him until he finally left the camping grounds to find some peace alone.

He huddles in closer to himself, curling in on his heated winter coat, something he’d fiddled with earlier to ensure he’d stay warm in the subzero temperatures. It’s padded with tiny devices that keep it insulated, which is nice.

Ash had just received his eighth gym badge from Wulfric, and as usual the battle was a spectacular sight to behold. Clemont closes his eyes and reminisces his own battle with Ash. The whole thing was electrifying, setting his nerves on end. It was one of the most amazing experiences he’d ever had. He and Ash had been so in sync that it was almost as if they could read each other’s thoughts. Part of him wishes they could return to that time, back when Ash only had four gym badges and still a long way to go before he left Kalos.

But now his journey is nearing its end. Up next is the Pokemon League Tournament and then…it’s all over. Ash will bid them farewell and start his next adventure in a faraway region, forever out of Clemont’s grasp.

He groans quietly to himself and lowers his head until it comes into contact with his knees. Why, oh why did he have to do something as stupid as falling for Ash Ketchum of all people? Ash is more unreachable than he can even fathom, too far ahead to catch up to. Even so, he still tries despite knowing that it’s fruitless.

A clump of snow lands on his head and he yelps in shock, some of it falling further to clumsily slide down the side of his glasses.

“Clemont! There you are.”

His heart begins to beat erratically and his stomach erupts with butterflies, making his face flush with heat. There’s only one person that can make him react in such a way.

Ash leaps down from the snowbank above his head, slipping a bit. He straightens himself out before plopping down next to Clemont, breathless.

“Whew. You went out pretty far,” he comments, leaning over to brush leftover snow out of Clemont’s blonde locks. Clemont wills the blush on his face to fade, but instead it protests and grows even more intense.

“Sorry about that,” Ash chuckles. “I was running to find you and then—there you were! I couldn’t slow myself down in time so I kinda…ended up getting snow all over you,” he smiles kindly. His eyes are glittering with undertones of worry, making Clemont even warmer than before.

“It’s alright!” Clemont reassures, his lips quirking nervously.

“So,” Ash leans back, bathing in the sun. He looks almost ethereal, and Clemont tries hard not to cry. “I woke up and you weren’t there…um, what I meant to say was, why are you all the way out here?”

Clemont looks away bashfully, biting his lip.

“I was…just thinking. I went for a walk and I guess I lost track of time.”

Ash’s face softens with understanding. “Oh, okay. But next time you should leave a note or something! Bonnie panicked when we couldn’t find you around camp.”

Clemont curses himself inwardly for being so irresponsible. Really? He has a younger sister to worry about, he can’t be off wandering around and…having feelings like this! Stupid!

“I’m sorry…”

The older teen tilts his head at him, inquiring yet slightly concerned. “What for? It’s no big deal.”

“I…” Clemont sighs. He fidgets with his hands for a moment before finding the courage to speak again.

“I was thinking about the future,” he finally says, quiet. Ash regards him curiously.

“Oh yeah?”

Clemont hugs his knees tightly, unable to keep the bitter smile off his face. “Yeah. I don’t…know what I’m going to do. When you leave.”

Ash doesn’t respond this time. Instead, he furrows his eyebrows, thoughtful.

Clemont takes a shuddering breath before continuing, “It’s just…everything is going to be so different now. Before I could just ignore it like I always did…days could pass without me noticing. Before I met you, all I did was invent things. And battle occasionally.” He chuckles humorlessly.

The black-haired boy frowns. “Clemont…”

“And—and now—” Clemont starts to choke up, furious with himself for being so weak but unable to do anything about it. “O-our journey will soon come to an end…and you’re going to leave and—what will I do without you?” He finally breaks, tears blurring his vision and staining his cheeks.

“Oh, Clemont,” Ash sighs, and before he can process what’s going on he’s in the other teen’s arms.

Clemont blinks, more tears slipping past. Ash is holding him very close and running his fingers through his hair and stroking his back with the other hand and it actually feels really, really nice.

Is this real? Clemont can hardly think. Everything is so dizzying and out of control and he just wants to stop falling for once, maybe get some focus on what’s going on around him.

Out of nowhere Ash chuckles against him, nuzzling his cheek. Clemont blushes seven different shades of red, his mouth agape with surprise.

“Silly. It doesn’t have to end here.” And Ash pulls away, looking him straight in the eyes.

“If you want to come with me, you should have just said so.”

Ocean eyes widen, their owner positively shell-shocked.

“And you’ve gone and gotten all upset over nothing,” Ash shakes his head, beyond amused. “Clemont! I don’t know what I’d do without you either. So why don’t you come with me? We can travel to tons of different places together.” His smile is brighter, more radiant than the sun itself, and Clemont drowns in his eyes.

He inhales, reveling in the sensation of the cool air against the back of his throat, and beams. This could prove to be more difficult than anything he’s ever faced, but he’s more than willing to go along with it. Because Ash will be there with him…

Clemont grins widely, feeling happier than he has in ages and says, breathlessly, “Okay!”

#HAHA WOW THAT'S PRETTY GAY #Diodeshipping #Pokemon #Pokeani #Ash Ketchum #Clemont #Satoshi #Citron #Pokemon XY #Pokemon XYZ #Drabble challenge #Writing challenge #Writing requests #Send in more! Please do #I am more than happy to write #Shima writes #My writing #Anon ask #Ask

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dariussheeno-blog · 7 years ago

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“Long ago in a distant land, I, Aku, a shapeshifting Master of Darkness, unleashed an unspeakable evil. But, a foolish samurai warrior wielding a magic sword stepped forth to oppose me. We clashed for ages, but eventually, the fool defeated me. Before the final blow was struck, I tore open a portal in time, and flung him into the future, where my evil is law. Now, the fool seeks to return to the past, and undo the future that is Aku.”

Walking up a mountain wasn’t a foreign experience for Jack. He traveled through the harshest of conditions, and lived to tell the tale of them all. He was caught in the dead of winter with just a gi. He shouldn’t have a problem with this. But something didn’t feel right about this journey. He thought back to his previous adventures. Climbing up a cliff with nothing but a sword and his wit. Almost being killed by a blue figure. Nearly freezing to death in a wintery hell. This should be a breeze. So why did he feel so uneasy?

He felt a presence behind him. That must be it, he thought to himself. Gripping his sword in case of danger, he turned around to face his would-be opponent..

…and found nothing more than a little goat.

“Oh, hello little friend,” he said nicely. “I don’t suppose if you know there is a time portal atop this mountain, do you?”

The little goat simply tilted his head in interest.

“No? Yes?” Jack tried asking once more. The goat was quiet. Jack sighed in disappointment.

“Aku has destroyed many. I worry that there are none left.”

He kept walking, the sound of his wooden sandals penetrating the air. Although he felt alone, he couldn’t help but notice the sound of hooves as well. But he kept walking. The sound of the hooves multiplied. There was no longer just one little goat, but two. Maybe more. Jack didn’t care for such things, however. They were harmless, and if they weren’t corrupted by Aku’s reign of evil, they were a friend.

Jack kept walking for hours, and as the sun began to end its rising phase, Jack reached the top of the mountain. Clouds loomed along the floor, indicating the height of the mountain Jack was on. Stones poked from the top, looking almost artificial in shape and texture. As Jack walked through this peculiar forest of boulders, he couldn’t help but notice the shape of a goat head carved into the boulder. Whatever these little goats were, they were important. He turned back and looked at three little goats who stared back at him. They locked for about a minute before one of the goats turned back and walked in a different direction. Jack, curious, followed it. The goat stopped, indicating that they arrived their destination. Jack, looking around, found himself in what seemed like a ground for rituals and ceremony. Those same boulders with goat heads carved into it circled the center. In the very center, lay a portal. It gleamed brightly and-

THE PORTAL.

Jack ran towards it, hoping he was early enough to outpace Aku. He jumped in, and a feeling of freedom washed over him. He had done it. His journey was over. He could finally go back and finish Aku. Everything was going to be just right.

Aku was bored. There was nothing to do. He already met his daily quota of innocents to be terrorized, and he couldn’t think up of a plan to stop any hero from getting into his base. His trusted scientists were explaining to him their latest invention, the Advanced Beetle Drone, and how their low cost and ease of production can be overwhelming to any opponent, but Aku just wasn’t into it. He lay in his seat, waiting for death to take him, even though he knew it would never happen.

“My lord, are you alright?” one of the scientists asked.

Aku simply replied, “Yes, yes. I’m fine.”

The scientists were looking up to him in anticipation of his approval or disapproval. Aku approved of the project, and they got to work on production. Aku sighed, worried that he might not want to do this forever.

But what about the Samurai? Yes, Aku thought, what about the Samurai? He glided over to a part of his fortress, pushed aside a flame, and revealed a hidden zipper. Unzipping to see his magic mirror, he saw what Jack was up to. The Samurai had found another portal and was closing in, fast. Aku gasped, and immediately sprang into action. Shooting himself into the air, he traveled at top speed to the mountain, where the last portal remained.

Arriving on scene, Aku frantically looked around for the Samurai, hoping he didn’t already jump in. However, it seemed as if he was too late. Desperately, Aku reached into the portal, extending his arm to unimaginable length, and was able to grab a piece of cloth. Aku smiled, for he had caught the Samurai in time. Pulling his arm up, he revealed the little fool, and tossed him out of the portal.

Jack rolled until he hit a boulder. But he didn’t care about the pain that ensued. Aku was here, and he had foiled Jack once more. Aku cackled as Jack looked at him, thinking of a plan. It seemed as if the only option was to run, and fend off the hand once he was in the portal.

“Whew, that was close!” Aku remarked. “I didn’t think you would get here so fast.”

Jack was furious. With his plan in mind, he made a beeline for the portal. It was in reach. It was so close. He could almost feel its energy.

Aku’s light lit up with a red energy. He focused on the portal, and in a flash, it was gone, replaced by an endless hole. Jack was blasted back, and lay on his belly.

“FOOL!” Aku shouted.

Jack, recovering from the blast, looked up in surprise. It was gone.

“Oh, Fun Fact,” Aku began. “That was the last remaining time portal in existence.”

Jack was shocked. He couldn’t comprehend it. His journey was over, but not because he made it, but because his only way of making it back home was completely gone. All the doors, all the opportunities, all gone. Jack became angry beyond his own belief. Aku simply laughed at his nemesis’ failure.

“Ooh, so angry! Be careful, Samurai! Too much stress will give you a heart attack,” Aku joked. Then he realized his mistake. “OOH! What am I saying? Please continue; never mind what I said.”

Jack cried out. It was the loudest he had ever been. His lungs might have given out had he not been so full of adrenaline. He unsheathed his katana, and charged at Aku, with only fury guiding his blade. Aku was taken aback by the sudden movements, even as so much as letting out a yelp. Luckily, Aku recovered quickly, and as Jack continued the assault, Aku began poking fun.

“Oho! Not so fast Samurai! I know better than to mess with that sword!”

Aku was right. Jack’s real only weapon that can hurt Aku was the element of surprise. Without it, the sword was useless, as Aku can simply weave in and out, dodging any strike or blow. Jack calmed down, and composed himself.

Aku smiled. He had won that battle. Now, if someone were to kill him now, that would be great. Aku, spotting the goats, had an idea.

“But, before I go, I leave you someone to play with.”

Aku’s eyes lit up and using his powers, turned the little harmless goats into giant, flesh eating bulls. Aku knew that the logic didn’t make sense, as goats are not the same animal as bulls, but Aku didn’t care for logic. He just wanted the Samurai dead.

The bulls roared, and Jack turned around to face them. The bulls charged at Jack, destroying everything in their path. Jack was still angry, and it showed through when he cut open the head of the first bull. The bull let out one roar before it fell, the life escaping it. The second bull charged at Jack at full speed, and sent him flying across the gap. Recovering quickly, the bull and Jack charged at each other, jumping over the hole and meeting in the middle, where Jack sunk his sword into the head of the bull and jumped off, his legs pushing the creature into abyss, never to be seen again. Landing, Jack was caught by surprise again by the third bull, who was able to rip the top part of Jack’s gi off. Jack got off, and jumped at the last second before the beast smashed into the boulder behind where Jack used to be. Jack landed on the head, and once again, sunk his sword into the head, killing the beast.

However, to Jack’s surprise, the bull began shrinking, and in a moment, what was once an evil creature corrupted by Aku became the little goat that helped Jack. Jack was shocked at this revelation, and turned around to see that the other little goat was dead as well. He had killed them in his rage. He was responsible for this. Devastated, Jack dropped his sword and got on his knees, wishing there was a way to bring them back. However, the sound of crumbling rock alerted Jack to a falling boulder, and he got out of the way before the sheer rock crushed him. But, within the microsecond, he was no longer concerned with his life. His sword hung over a cliff, and the shockwave caused by the falling had given it a reason to fall into the hole. Jack sprang to the cliff, and reached for the sword, but it was too late. His signature weapon, the only thing he truly can trust, was gone. While he didn’t need it, he used it as a part of his daily routine, his battles; the sword didn’t become a part of Jack, Jack became a part of the sword. And now without it, he was lost. Jack blinked a couple of times, arm still outstretched into the inky blackness that was his doom. He was done for.

In another part of the world, a woman held out her baby in pride. It didn’t cry. Smiling, the woman put it down, and sat down on a seat. Such a wonderful child, she thought. Her mind took her back to the one day months ago where she lost it to some ogres. The samurai had saved it, but in the process, the baby achieved sakai, the spirit of a samurai. The woman let out a smirk, and thought to herself: She would make a fine servant to Aku.

Someday…

Author’s Note:

I’d like to thank @orenashii for giving me the courage to begin writing this. I was pretty iffy on the idea of a fanfiction, but this person has some great content, and for that reason, I decided to start up on my own. Now, I know that some people might be angry at the fact that they already watched this before. Do not worry, this first chapter is simply to set everything up for the next chapters, and for the story.

If you read this far, then thank you, too. I’ll try my best to keep you guys updated on the next chapter.

#samurai jack #aku #fanfic #samurai jack season 5 #samurai jack fanfiction #something #fanfiction #samurai jack fanfic

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dreamkidddream · 4 years ago

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hey congratulations!!🎉

if possible, can you write quote #19 w/ atsushi?

Whew so this was a popular request and I’m honestly excited for it! This was so fun to write too. Atsushi ain’t slick either 👀 Atsushi when he’s doubting himself 📉📉 Atsushi when he’s confident, believes in himself AND goes feral📈📈 📈 also sorry for the wait, school has me 1000000x stressed, but my birthday is coming up so expect me to post more as a birthday gift to myself 🥰 reader is gender neutral!

TW: a little spicy but nothing extremely graphic is mentioned, minor language

Prompt: “I saw that. You just checked me out.” with Atsushi!

Atsushi couldn’t help it. No matter what, his eyes were always drawn to you. You’re just...really pretty! Beyond pretty! You’re just so alluring, that no matter how much he tried to snap out of the daze that you unknowingly put him in, he would just be focused on you all over again. Didn’t matter where either: in the office filling out reports, hanging out in the cafe, on missions (Akutagawa would be fuming and a little confused, but Atsushi didn’t care).

While he is naive at times, that didn’t mean that he’s stupid. He knows that he’s in too deep and it’s too late to try and deny what he’s feeling for you, but he’s scared. He fears that he isn’t good enough for you, that he never will be good enough for you. You deserve more than what he can ever give you, so why waste your time on someone like him? You deserve better than that, better than him...

But those thoughts were pushed away whenever you’re around him. Everytime you flashed him that sweet smile of yours, his heart would beat even faster than before (and you made his heart pretty fast already), and he couldn’t bare the notion of you not being in his life. He couldn’t imagine it, and he didn’t even try to.

Which lead to now: you both walking on the Yokohama boardwalk, him holding onto your prized tiger plushie (that took so long for him to win and SO MUCH MONEY) and varying treats from different street vendors, and you chattering excited about...something. What was it that you were talking about again? Damn it, it happened again!

It was so easy for Atsushi to get lost when it came to you. Just seeing the ways your eyes sparkled underneath the lights and the night sky was enough for him to lose his breath, not to mention how stunning you’re already are. He was more than flabbergasted when you accepted his invite to the boardwalk, stumbling out a thank you with a heavy blush across as you rambled on about how you can’t wait until then.

And you look so good. Not that you already didn’t! You actually got a little dressed up tonight, nothing too over the top but nothing like a regular hangout either. The outfit that you chose really displayed your figure, and he couldn’t help but let his gaze fall to-

“Hey! Are you listening?”

SHIT.

“HUH?! Oh! Of-of course!”, he stuttered out, nodding his head. Please believe me, please believe me, please-

“So you agree that I should go on a date with Dazai or Ranpo? Or even Akutagawa?”

“Ye-WAIT NO!”

“I’m just kidding, Sushi,” you playfully bumped his shoulder. “You zoned out on me. If I’m boring you-”

“No! It’s not that!”, he rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand, shameful. “It’s just...I’m really having a lot of fun with you tonight. I’m still a little shocked that you actually agreed to come out with me.”

“Why would I tell you no? I love spending time with you! Plus, this gives us a chance to hang out without any interference. Just us two.”

“Y-yeah! Just us! I’m really happy that you’re having fun.”

“Just make sure I’m not boring you to death okay? Plus, I have to tell you something important...”

His ears perked up and his heart started to race. Was this the moment? Could it be? He wanted to pinch himself to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. You looked so bashful, twiddling your fingers together nervously.

Were you about to confess to him?

A smile broke out on your face as you gazed at him.

“You’ve been checking me out this whole time, haven’t you?”

He choked.

Atsushi could faint right now. Not out of pure bliss, but of embarrassment. You knew what he was doing?! He wishes that the ground would open up and swallow him while, he even wishes that Akutagawa just comes out of nowhere to fight just so he wouldn’t have to face you.

“W-wait?”, and his voice cracked. Even more embarrassment.

“You’ve been checking me out, tiger boy! My my Atsushi, who knew that you could be so devious?”

He almost dropped your plush tiger trying to wave his arms to defend himself. He wasn’t checking you out! He was admiring you! Very big difference in his opinion.

Oh who was he kidding? Either way, you didn’t need to know that!

“No I wasn’t! It’s- you see- I wasn’t checking you out! You h-had something on your face! Yeah!”

“Oh please Atsushi. I saw that. You just checked me out. As a matter of fact, I know you’ve been checking me out for quite some time.”

Oh he could just shrivel up and disappear into nothing at this point. He felt so ashamed, disgusting. Oh God, what if you thought that he’s a pervert now? He began to open his mouth, the start of a first apology of many to follow on the tip of his tongue, when you cut him off.

“Honestly, I was wondering when you were gonna make a move. Thought I was gonna have to, but I wanted to give you enough time and maybe see you sweat a little.”

“...huh?”

You broke poor Atsushi.

So you didn’t think that he’s a disgusting pervert? You didn’t hate him? And you knew that he’s been doing this? And you knew of his feelings for you? And you reciprocated said feelings?!

Atsushi was overjoyed at this revelation. Then, he came to the realization that you knew this whole time of his feelings for you, didn’t say anything because you were amused with how stressed he got, and then proceeded to still mess with him after.

He’s irritated to say the least.

You let out a string of laughter, “Atsushi, you should see your face right now!” You started to clutch your stomach, tears pricking at your eyes with how hard you’re laughing. “Seriously! You didn’t think I wouldn’t notice you always staring at me? I’m not that oblivious you know.”

As much as you loved teasing him, you really did mean what you said. He’s been gazing at you with his longing look in his eyes for so long, that you believed it was only a matter of time before he approached you. However, you were starting to get just a tad bit impatient. You knew how much of a crush he has on you just as you have a crush on him, and you were trying to have him make the first move, but if he continued to just give you puppy eyes when he thought you wouldn’t notice, you were going to drag him by his tie and force him to confess.

“But don’t feel too bad. If I was super nervous to confess to my crush, I’ll probably just stare and hope they understand my feelings that way. So, now that that’s out of the way, do you want to confess first or should I-”

“You don’t even know what you do to me, do you?”

Atsushi’s had his head lowered, and when he snapped his head up, he was glaring at you.

Oh no, he’s mad at you. You didn’t mean to make upset! It was- wait a second. What you do to him? He continued on, gripping your shoulders so that you couldn’t look away, your focus would be on him and only him, just like his is always on you and only you.

“It’s not my fault what you do to me! It’s yours!”

“Wait, AtsuSHI-”

“It’s not my fault that you’re really pretty and nice and-”

Now he was shaking you while he rants and whines about all the things that “weren’t his fault”. You began to giggle again, “Okay okay Atsushi! I get it.” Clasping his hands, you slowly ceased his shaking, with him giving you that same puppy eyed look that you’re used to.

Damn it, he didn’t understand what he does to you.

“I’m sorry, Atsushi. It’s just so fun to see you get riled up sometimes”, you already moved his hands to in front of you, gently rubbing circles on them. “I...I really do like you, Atsushi. More than like, really. This wasn’t how I was planning this to go, but whatever. And you don’t have to worry about me not returning your feelings dummy! It’s pretty obvious, wouldn’t you say?”

You could see his expression soften the more you spoke, processing your words and letting them sink in. He saw no playful glints in your eyes this time. You genuinely meant what you said, you like him, more than a friend.

He felt tears gathering in his eyes, but you wiped at them before they could fall. Caressing his face, prizes and treats long forgotten, you leaned in to kiss him softly. He went still, then melted into it, bringing you close to him as much as he can by your waist. When you pulled back, he had such a dopey grin on his face, eyes full of warmth.

Nothing could compare to this feeling, the feeling of being loved, being truly cared for.

He truly did feel blessed.

“The night’s still young, Atsushi,” you leaned in to give him another peck, which he happily accepted. “And I don’t want to waste anymore time than we already have.”

“Y-y-yeah, me either”, he touched your forehead against yours. You look so angelic underneath the stars, he couldn’t look away if he tried. “Let’s make up for lost time.”

“Of course. And I know the perfect way to start.”

Bonus:

“Good morning, Atsushi!”

Dazai rolled his chair to his desk, already putting off his work for the day. “So tell me: how was your date last night?”

“Oh-it was great! We just went to the boardwalk. (Y/N) was happy, and we both confessed, so everything went okay.”

“That’s it?”, he sighed. “How boring. You guys didn’t do anything else?”

“Hm? No? Was I suppose to do something else?”, he blinked at Dazai. Did you miss a step or something? Everything went better than expected last night, so he did everything right...right?

“Tell me, Atsushi. Did you two run into any trouble last night?”

“No. Why?”

“Well how did you get that bruise on your neck?”

Bruise? What was he-

Oh no.

Dazai leaned back in his chair, arms folded behind his head. “And judging by the way (Y/N) is being way more cheerful than they usually are, something tells me that that isn’t a bruise-”

“DAZAI! Get back to work!”

Kunikida couldn’t have come at a perfect time. Dazai groaned out a “fine” and rolled back to his desk, letting Atsushi breath out a sigh of relief. You guys had a lot more fun than he let on, and he would be beyond mortified if the whole office found out-

“Goodness Kunikida, I was just letting Atsushi know that his hickey was showing! (Y/N) really knows how to leave a mark, don’t they Atsushi?”

Please someone, end him now-

“And the way that (Y/N) is covering their neck tells me that you do too. My mentee is growing up so fast, I’m so proud!”

“DAZAI!”

“ATSUSHI!”

#bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs reader insert #bungou stray dogs x reader #bsd atsushi x reader #bsd atsushi #atsushi nakajima x reader #atsushi x reader #dream’s 100 + 200 followers prompt special 💙

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